Into the Ocean

"Now floating up and down I spin colliding into sound
 like whales beneath me diving down
 I’m sinking to the bottom of my
 everything that freaks me out
 the lighthouse gleam has just run out
 I'm cold as cold as cold... can be.. be

I wanna swim away but don’t know how
sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean"
-Blue October, "Into the Ocean"

I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately.  Work has been quite hectic.  In addition to preparing lessons for my students and keeping up with all the grading, photocopying, etc. I have also been trying to clean out my files, desk drawers and bookshelves so that I can actually be out of here on June 10 when I should be.  I have also been instructed by my department chair that I have to put everything I use (worksheets, tests, quizzes, class notes, etc.) into binders for each level of French for the person who will be my replacement next school year.  I already had the French II binder done as I did it last school year since I am not teaching that particular class this year, but I still had to do the French I and III binders.  Ironically the French teacher who will be replacing me is coming up from the middle school and has more than twice as much teaching experience as I do but I still have to do all this prep work for her...oh, and let's not forget that we also have to photocopy all tests, quizzes, assignments, etc. that she will need for the first month of school as well.  Nobody did that for me when I started teaching 10+ years ago. 
I also started working at the golf shop again on April 10.  So far it has been mostly weekends but tonight I have to go in from after school to 7 P.M.  Makes for a really long day when you've been up since 3:15 A.M. (damn wind).  It's also hard because then I don't get to spend much time with McKenna and Justin since I like to try and get to bed between 9 and 9:30 on school nights.  I really enjoy my job at the golf shop and the extra money is really nice (and is now a necessity) but sometimes I wish I could just teach and that would be it. 
Justin got a RIF letter a week ago, so for those of you not up on your education lingo, RIF is reduction in force.  Basically he will not have a teaching position next year in his current school district because of financial trouble in the school district.  That puts even more pressure on me, as I could potentially be our main (or possibly only) source of income after August.  Scary.  I am barely keeping my head above water with the bills we have now so if we are down to one income things will get really ugly then.  As far as I know he hasn't filled out any online applications yet for other school districts.  I wish that he would stop procrastinating and get on the computer and fill out the apps!  It's not that hard to do and then at least he'll be getting his name out there.  I really think that he believes the situation will work out in his favor (this same exact thing happened last year, and he did end up being called back because enough people retired and he was high enough on the RIF list so he got his job back).  Not so sure that the same will happen this year or not. 
Also, I need to start going to training sessions for my new position as a school counselor next year so that is just another thing to add to this stress.  Oh, and don't forget that I have an online class that begins May 10 and runs through August as well...
You wonder why I feel like I'm drowning sometimes.  This would be it.