Day 7: 10 Things You Want to Say to 10 People

10 Things You Want to Say to 10 People

I am not going to specify names here; some of these will be REALLY obvious and some won’t.  Don’t assume-it may or may not be directed toward you.  If you are truly that curious you can ask and I’ll let you know if one of these is directed at you-that is, if you can take it.  ;)

1. I can only hope that the universe continues to pay you back for all that you did to me and took from me.  It is difficult sometimes because all the payback in the world won’t ever make up for a wound/scar that will never quite heal.  You made me lose faith and trust in people and also made me distrust the people who I love and who love me the most, most of the time for irrational reasons.  I honestly believe that the only thing that would ever make you realize the damage that you caused is for you to have your heart shattered the same way that mine was.  Otherwise, you are so self-centered that you would never get it.  
2. You pre-judged me even before you actually met me and I was accused of things that were and are not true at all-that I may (GASP!) have had a child from my first marriage, that I was only after Justin for his money (ha ha, anyone who has an actual idea of the teaching profession is probably laughing along with me at this one), that there was something “wrong” with me because my first marriage failed.  You have made it clear that you don’t care about me, my husband, or my child and I don’t have a problem with that; in fact, I intend to keep it that way.  You never knew anything about me, and you will continue to know nothing about me (firsthand, that is, since you get all your information about us secondhand anyhow).  
3. If you don’t like where your life has ended up or you feel as if you are stuck in a rut, make an effort that will result in some type of change.  Don’t like your job?  Do something about it.  Don’t like your relationship status?  Go out there and get that guy/girl of your dreams.  Don’t just leave it up to fate to take care of these things, as sometimes fate does its job and sometimes it doesn’t.  Sometimes you have to be the one to make a choice and get out there and go for what you want.  Oh, and if you are doing nothing about it, you ARE making a choice.
4. I know things have been crazy this past year with our job situations and also with McKenna.  I know sometimes you think that I feel that you don’t love me and I can assure you that is definitely not true.  You have been there through the good, the bad and the ugly.  You make me think twice about things before I take action on them.  You are the best husband and father that I could ever hope for.  Even though I may not always show it, I hope you know how much I love you and appreciate all that you have brought to my life.  I don’t know where the hell I would be if I hadn’t met you and had this journey with you.
5. To my KenKen-you put a smile on my face every day, and even when you do crazy things like wake up at 3:00 A.M. and again at 4:30 A.M. screaming, I still love you more than anything.  You are most definitely the greatest belated birthday gift that I have ever received.  I hope that I will be the kind of mother that you can look up to and see me not only as your Mom, but also as a friend and confidant.  I promise not to tell Daddy embarrassing things about you as you get older.  ;)
6. I am so glad that even after all of the shit hit the fan that we are still friends and I know that I can come to you and talk to you about anything.  You have helped us out in a pinch with babysitting and you were the first one to volunteer to come over and watch McKenna for us when she was only a few weeks old and we were in dire need of a night out.  Thank you so much for being a great “outlaw” and for being there not only for me but for my family as well.  You will never know how much this means to me.
7. I miss you and I am sorry that you never got a chance to meet either Marley or McKenna.  I know that you would be thrilled with both of your granddaughters and that you would absolutely adore them.  I get so angry when people complain about their fathers dying when they are in their 60s, 70s, or even 80s-that’s WAY more time than we had with you.  I think of you often and especially with December 17 approaching you have been on my mind frequently.   I love you and will continue to look for your “signs” that help guide me through difficult times.
8. The world does not revolve around you, although you seem to think that it does.  Grow up and learn the definition of the word “compromise.”  Come to think of it, you need to learn what the words “empathy” and “sympathy” mean as well.  I think if you learned what those are and actually used them in your daily life then you would be a better person.  
9. Thank you for all the love and support that you provide for us on a daily basis.  Times have been rough lately and I don’t know how we would make it through without your help.  You have been through so much in the last 4 years and you have proved to me time and time again how strong you truly are.  I am so glad that I can call you not only Mom, but also my friend.  I know that you will be there to listen when I have a good day or a bad day and I know that you will be there for me through thick and thin.  We can never show you how much your love and support means to us.  
10. I don’t even know you personally and I couldn’t stand you for the longest time.  However, I need you to know that you did one of the biggest favors for me of anyone in my life-breaking up my marriage.  I only hope that if you are being treated the way that I was that you are at least semi-intelligent enough to get out while you can.  Nobody deserves to be verbally and emotionally abused, even a homewrecker like you. ;)