About 10 or 15 years ago, there used to be this huge stigma surrounding Internet dating/meeting people on the Internet. I have an aunt and uncle who used to meet "friends" via the Internet back in the day and everyone else in the family gossiped about it like it was some huge scandal and how creepy it was that they were meeting people online. It was even more creepy when they went out and met said Internet creepers in person.
Fortunately, we've come a long way, and Internet dating doesn't have that same "Oh no you don't unless you're creepy" feel to it at all. I have several friends, colleagues and family members that have met their current husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other online. There are various sites that you can use, the most well-known probably being match.com and eharmony.com. I think that several years ago people thought that meeting people on the Internet meant that you were planning on doing something indecent, like swinging or cheating. Now, meeting people on the Internet is a great alternative to picking up someone in a bar (which I think is ultimately way more creepy than meeting someone online). It is really easy to set up a profile on one of these online dating sites and for me, it was actually a lot of fun to see e-mails from my potential suitors coming in.
I'll backtrack a bit here so you know where I'm coming from. Flashback to spring 2007 (day before Easter) and the conversation between my first husband and I about how we had tried to make things work, our relationship had its run, now it was done, blah blah blah. I was a bit (OK, a LOT) bitter that the entire time, he had his Cupcake on the side. I was 29 years old, newly separated, and I wanted to jump right back into the dating game. However, as I had long since outgrown the bar scene (was never into it at all, really) I knew that was not an option for me. I went online and checked out match.com and signed up for a 3 month trial. It was a lot of fun setting up my profile, answering the questions they asked and then having my sister take a profile picture of me with her dog (I then had a disclaimer that I did have a dog, but the dog in the picture was NOT my dog-sorry Schpeen). There were all types of questions, ranging from the basic eye and hair color, to the truly superficial: "How much money should your potential date/mate earn?" There were also some off-the-wall questions such as, "Do you like or hate thunderstorms?"
The only thing more fun than creating a profile was seeing the responses to my profile. I originally communicated with 3 men, all around my age (late 20s/early 30s) and went out on a date with one of the three. Of the other two, one was only interested in hearing about how good of a kisser I was and the other one got shipped off to Dubai to work on a container/cargo ship. I did end up going out on two dates with the third one, but that would deserve a whole blog to itself (carpet cleaner/Neanderthal man).
Finally near the end of May, I met Justin, who was to become my husband in about a year. We communicated via e-mails on match at first, then by phone, then on dates. We moved in together in February 2008 and got married in 2009. If I am being 100% honest, I was a bit embarrassed at first to admit that we met each other on match.com when people asked. Now I tell people with pride that I met my husband online. I must have had some bad family vibes hanging around me at first when people asked me how we met. :)
So, for any of you singletons out there, women or men, who are still looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right, or maybe if you're newly separated or divorced and want to get back on the dating horse, try one of the online dating sites. Maybe you will meet your special someone and maybe you won't, but I guarantee you'll have fun with the online dating process. You may even end up with some very special dating stories to tell like yours truly. Try it-you may or may not be disappointed. Shrug off the stigma about online dating that you may have or that others may have and take a chance. It worked out in my favor and also for several other people that I know.
Good luck!
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
"Treeson" (Yes, it's supposed to be a play on words)
Last summer Justin and I decided that we wanted to get a couple of trees cut down in our back yard. Both trees are maples, quite large, and growing way too close to our storage shed (not to mention that the one tree has limbs and branches hanging over about 3 of our neighbors' yards, but I digress). Last summer we did not have the funds to pay for this particular bit of work to be done, so we decided that when we got our income tax money back the next spring, we would take care of the renegade trees. The tax return should (hopefully) be deposited in my ever-dwindling checking account very soon, so I decided to get on the schtick and start looking into getting rid of the trees. This past weekend I started looking up some tree removal companies so that I could call them and get some estimates for getting those trees taken down. I placed an online request for an estimate with a well-known tree removal/landscape/etc. business in the Northeast Ohio area where we live. The online request sheet claimed that they would contact us soon so that we could get said estimate into our hot little hands.
My husband stayed home from work this past Wednesday because our babysitter had a dentist appointment (along with her three kids) and they had to leave their house by 3:15 P.M. There is no way that is physically possible that either he or I could have McKenna picked up by that time, so he took the day off. At some point during the day he noticed a car parked in our driveway. Turns out that it was an employee of the aforementioned Cadillac of tree removal/landscaping/etc. company and that he was there checking out the trees that we would like to have removed. Umm, what happened to contacting us first? Interesting that the company just sends someone out to your house to make an estimate.
To wrap this tale up, the employee quoted a price of $3200 to remove both trees. Screw that. For that price, those damn trees can stay up. Back to the drawing board of calling some other local, smaller, personally run tree removal companies that will take the trees down for a much lower rate (hopefully).
My husband stayed home from work this past Wednesday because our babysitter had a dentist appointment (along with her three kids) and they had to leave their house by 3:15 P.M. There is no way that is physically possible that either he or I could have McKenna picked up by that time, so he took the day off. At some point during the day he noticed a car parked in our driveway. Turns out that it was an employee of the aforementioned Cadillac of tree removal/landscaping/etc. company and that he was there checking out the trees that we would like to have removed. Umm, what happened to contacting us first? Interesting that the company just sends someone out to your house to make an estimate.
To wrap this tale up, the employee quoted a price of $3200 to remove both trees. Screw that. For that price, those damn trees can stay up. Back to the drawing board of calling some other local, smaller, personally run tree removal companies that will take the trees down for a much lower rate (hopefully).
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Pressuring Myself
I know that I am a person who often puts way too much pressure on herself. Of course lately a lot of the self-inflicted pressure that I have been feeling has been relating to motherhood and taking care of our child.
One of the main self-inflicted pressure items that I have been having issues with lately is the fact that I am an "old" mother. I know in the technical sense of the word that I am not an "old" mother, and I am especially not an "old" mother in today's society. Many women wait until they are in their 30s and 40s to have their first child nowadays. You have to understand where I am coming from here, though...my Mom had me at 18 and had my sister at 25 and was done having kids. My sister had her first child at 16 (she is currently 25) and her second at 24, and is now contemplating having a third. All of this, along with comments from certain people, have compiled to make me feel like an "old" Mom for having my firstborn at 33. And yes, we are planning on having at least one more, and yes, I have for some reason set a deadline of no more kids after 38 on myself to make matters worse. I don't want to be having kids at 40. No particular reason why, I just don't want to.
Another thing that I've been beating myself up about...this weekend we had to start introducing McKenna to formula. I have been back at work for 4 weeks now, and of course now that I'm not able to nurse her most of the time, my supply has dropped off considerably. Also, some of it is my fault, as I have been lazy and instead of nursing her in the evenings Justin and I have just been giving her expressed milk in a bottle. She was taking 3 oz bottles at every feeding and just in the past week or so she has bumped up to 4 or 5 oz bottles at a feeding. 4 and 5 oz bottles with decreased milk production does not equal a successful way to feed our child. We started giving her bottles with a 3:1 ratio of expressed milk to formula, or if she's been particularly hungry, a 3:2 ratio. She has only been on the formula mixed with expressed milk for two days now, and seems to be OK with it. I can't help sometimes thinking of other friends with children and being all like, "Hey, they were able to successfully nurse their kids for a year or more. They also probably weren't lazy sluts like me and didn't nurse their children in the evenings and in the middle of the night when they woke up and needed a feeding." Once again, no one is putting pressure on me but ME. I think my friend Rachel said it the best to me the other day when we were talking about the aforementioned topic; she said, "I think that you need to do what's best for you and what works for you." Thanks Rachel for the reality check. Sometimes I need it.
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
One of the main self-inflicted pressure items that I have been having issues with lately is the fact that I am an "old" mother. I know in the technical sense of the word that I am not an "old" mother, and I am especially not an "old" mother in today's society. Many women wait until they are in their 30s and 40s to have their first child nowadays. You have to understand where I am coming from here, though...my Mom had me at 18 and had my sister at 25 and was done having kids. My sister had her first child at 16 (she is currently 25) and her second at 24, and is now contemplating having a third. All of this, along with comments from certain people, have compiled to make me feel like an "old" Mom for having my firstborn at 33. And yes, we are planning on having at least one more, and yes, I have for some reason set a deadline of no more kids after 38 on myself to make matters worse. I don't want to be having kids at 40. No particular reason why, I just don't want to.
Another thing that I've been beating myself up about...this weekend we had to start introducing McKenna to formula. I have been back at work for 4 weeks now, and of course now that I'm not able to nurse her most of the time, my supply has dropped off considerably. Also, some of it is my fault, as I have been lazy and instead of nursing her in the evenings Justin and I have just been giving her expressed milk in a bottle. She was taking 3 oz bottles at every feeding and just in the past week or so she has bumped up to 4 or 5 oz bottles at a feeding. 4 and 5 oz bottles with decreased milk production does not equal a successful way to feed our child. We started giving her bottles with a 3:1 ratio of expressed milk to formula, or if she's been particularly hungry, a 3:2 ratio. She has only been on the formula mixed with expressed milk for two days now, and seems to be OK with it. I can't help sometimes thinking of other friends with children and being all like, "Hey, they were able to successfully nurse their kids for a year or more. They also probably weren't lazy sluts like me and didn't nurse their children in the evenings and in the middle of the night when they woke up and needed a feeding." Once again, no one is putting pressure on me but ME. I think my friend Rachel said it the best to me the other day when we were talking about the aforementioned topic; she said, "I think that you need to do what's best for you and what works for you." Thanks Rachel for the reality check. Sometimes I need it.
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Notorious
My poor husband. The man can't go anywhere, in any city even close to where we live, without being recognized by someone. Of course, since he is a male kindergarten teacher, he is somewhat memorable ;).
Case in point...a few weeks ago we attended a 40th birthday party for one of our friends at a bar in a city that is about 10-15 minutes away from where we live. We were sitting at a high-top table with some other friends, just enjoying the company and some beverages (of course alcoholic) when suddenly, behind us, we hear: "Hey, don't you teach at Elementary School X?" Of course Justin says "Yes." Then this random man goes on to tell my husband how he currently has his grandchild in class, this grandchild thinks that my husband is the greatest thing since sliced bread, etc. Now, while it is nice to hear my husband being complemented, I can't imagine sitting there with an alcoholic beverage in front of me while talking to the grandfather of one of my students. Certainly the topic of the aforementioned alcoholic beverage came up with this man (who also had his wife, sister-in-law, and brother-in-law with him at this same party, so now there are 4 people who know that my husband teaches at Elementary School X and is so and so's kindergarten teacher). We joked about it, tried to switch cups with a friend at our table and claim he was drinking water. It was just so awkward. I'm not even quite sure how these other people know our friend who was celebrating their 40th, but it just always seems like my husband runs into someone he knows somehow through his teaching job. Luckily these people didn't stay too long at the party either, so the awkwardness was removed from the equation. It's not like we were planning on sitting there and getting really shit-faced drunk, but it is nice to be able to have an evening out with some friends and a couple of drinks and not be approached by someone saying, "Hey, aren't you so and so's teacher?" or "Hey, don't you teach at Elemetary School X?" I'm just glad that we live far enough away from the district where I teach so that I don't run into my students on any regular basis.
Case in point...a few weeks ago we attended a 40th birthday party for one of our friends at a bar in a city that is about 10-15 minutes away from where we live. We were sitting at a high-top table with some other friends, just enjoying the company and some beverages (of course alcoholic) when suddenly, behind us, we hear: "Hey, don't you teach at Elementary School X?" Of course Justin says "Yes." Then this random man goes on to tell my husband how he currently has his grandchild in class, this grandchild thinks that my husband is the greatest thing since sliced bread, etc. Now, while it is nice to hear my husband being complemented, I can't imagine sitting there with an alcoholic beverage in front of me while talking to the grandfather of one of my students. Certainly the topic of the aforementioned alcoholic beverage came up with this man (who also had his wife, sister-in-law, and brother-in-law with him at this same party, so now there are 4 people who know that my husband teaches at Elementary School X and is so and so's kindergarten teacher). We joked about it, tried to switch cups with a friend at our table and claim he was drinking water. It was just so awkward. I'm not even quite sure how these other people know our friend who was celebrating their 40th, but it just always seems like my husband runs into someone he knows somehow through his teaching job. Luckily these people didn't stay too long at the party either, so the awkwardness was removed from the equation. It's not like we were planning on sitting there and getting really shit-faced drunk, but it is nice to be able to have an evening out with some friends and a couple of drinks and not be approached by someone saying, "Hey, aren't you so and so's teacher?" or "Hey, don't you teach at Elemetary School X?" I'm just glad that we live far enough away from the district where I teach so that I don't run into my students on any regular basis.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Le Divorce
I was thinking about divorce the other day, just randomly. If you line up the grandkids on my Mom's side (myself included) two out of the three of us have been through a dissolution or divorce. 66% isn't a great percentage in that regard. My sister (the only one who has not been in this situation) once told me that she'd rather bury her husband in the backyard before she'd divorce him. If you add my cousin's significant other into the equation, that brings in yet another divorce situation, which would bring our divorce rate up. What does this say about my generation and relationships? It seems to me as I've gotten older (and somewhat wiser) that relationships are largely disposable. People from my parents generation and my grandparents generation (in general) tended to stick it out in their marriages. People in my generation seem to take divorce as an easy out, and I think that many (not all) people go into a marriage in the current day and time thinking that they can always get out if things don't work out in the marriage. In my situation, I didn't use divorce as an easy out. I was with my ex for 10 years (from our Freshman year in college-1997-until our divorce in 2007). We were married for over 6 of those 10 years. What happened? you may wonder. Well, we did end up growing apart but DH also had someone else on the side that he "fell in love with" and just wouldn't give up. Did I try to make it work? Like hell. I threatened, I cajoled, I begged, I cried. I stayed up nights wondering what I had done wrong and what I could do to make him love ME again and not the SweeTart on the side. Of course, looking back now if you try to make the fruit even more forbidden the more tempting it becomes. My ex was so addicted to the forbidden it wasn't even funny...I am sure that my disapproval made his affair all the more fun for him. We went to couples counseling (per my request) for two sessions before I decided it was an exercise in futility and that we needed to stop wasting time (and money). We talked, "tried" to re-connect (all of this was pretty one-sided, IMO), and tried to work things out so that they didn't end up in a divorce. Alas, after months of pretending that things were going to work themselves out, I finally grew weary of the entire situation (I had found out about SweeTart the day after Thanksgiving 2006 and I officially decided to call things off the day before Easter 2007) and just end it. Due to circumstances that were somewhat out of my control, we had to put off our divorce (which was actually a dissolution) until December 2007. To make a long story short, I had taken a voluntary leave of absence from my teaching job from January 2007 to June 2007 in order to complete a 600 hour internship that I was required to complete for my Master's degree, which led to no income and no health insurance. Unfortunately I had to depend on my now ex for that at the time, so we weren't able to end things until I was gainfully employed again. Not to defend him, but to be fair he was very generous with paying bills and helping out with other household and insurance related costs during that time. Hell, it was the least he could do since he was busy stuffing SweeTart on the side. My dissolution (divorce) was not the easy way out. It was my way of saying that the relationship had met its end and that I wouldn't put up with my husband having his SweeTart on the side and eating it too. I know that my cousin's divorce wasn't the easy way out either, nor was the divorce of my cousin's significant other. I just wonder how many others look at divorce or dissolutions as an easy escape clause though...
Also, you should never say never. In my wildest dreams (or perhaps nightmares) I NEVER thought that I would be divorced. I always thought that my relationship with my first husband was rock solid, nothing could break us apart, etc. Don't ever get too smug about your relationship; you never know, you could possibly be next on the divorce/dissolution train. Don't look down on people who are divorced as failures or people who were "just too lazy" to make their relationships work out. It is when people become overly comfortable and complacent in their marriage that the rug gets pulled out from under them.
In closing, does the high divorce rate of our generation make us strong, independent people who won't put up with our significant other's bullshit? We tend not to turn our heads the other way when our SOs have gambling addictions, alcohol, drug or porn addictions, affairs, etc. Does the fact that many of our parents and grandparents did turn their heads the other way (or just lived in denial) when it came to the above in their marriages make them stronger or weaker than we are? Kind of makes you think, doesn't it?
Just some food for thought. Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
Also, you should never say never. In my wildest dreams (or perhaps nightmares) I NEVER thought that I would be divorced. I always thought that my relationship with my first husband was rock solid, nothing could break us apart, etc. Don't ever get too smug about your relationship; you never know, you could possibly be next on the divorce/dissolution train. Don't look down on people who are divorced as failures or people who were "just too lazy" to make their relationships work out. It is when people become overly comfortable and complacent in their marriage that the rug gets pulled out from under them.
In closing, does the high divorce rate of our generation make us strong, independent people who won't put up with our significant other's bullshit? We tend not to turn our heads the other way when our SOs have gambling addictions, alcohol, drug or porn addictions, affairs, etc. Does the fact that many of our parents and grandparents did turn their heads the other way (or just lived in denial) when it came to the above in their marriages make them stronger or weaker than we are? Kind of makes you think, doesn't it?
Just some food for thought. Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
Monday, January 31, 2011
Breast is Best...Suppposedly
Last week was my first week back at work. It went pretty well overall. I guess when you've done something for the past 10 years and you have a pretty good system down of doing what you do getting back into the swing of things isn't too difficult. It was kind of like riding a bike. OK, if I'm being completely honest, the moment I walked in to my classroom and saw the desks arranged differently and the piles of stuff that my sub had left on my desk and tables I felt a bit overwhelmed, like, "Where do I even start?" I just had to tell myself that I wasn't going to get everything put away in one day and that getting re-organized was going to take time. The teaching part was the easy part. I just stepped right back in like I'd never been away. After only a day and a half being back at work I took a half day on Tuesday because McKenna had her 2 month well-visit with her pediatrician. McKenna is getting big so fast-she weighed in at 11 pounds 5 ounces and measured 23.4 inches long. While we were there the pediatrician asked me if I was still breastfeeding her, to which I replied yes, I still am. She told me that we should put McKenna on vitamin supplements and that she would call in a prescription for them. The pediatrician stated that it would be just to make sure that McKenna was getting all of the necessary vitamins that she needed, because apparently when babies are exclusively breastfed that they are lacking some of those vitamins. I didn't pick up the vitamins until after work on Wednesday, and Wednesday night I read the box before I gave her the first dose. They didn't sound so bad, as the box claimed that the vitamins were fruit flavored and she only needed 1 milliliter per day. After I opened the box and the bottle I was surprised to see that said vitamins were the consistency and color of (clean) motor oil and smelled (for lack of a better word) vitaminy. There was no fruit smell for sure, I certainly hope that the vitamins tasted better than they smelled. McKenna has now been taking them for 5 days and has now started to make a horrible face when we give them to her and has even started spitting some of them out. Which leads to my question...all these healthcare professionals and even friends and family will tell you that breast is best. However, if you give your baby formula he or she is getting those essential vitamins built right in and they don't have to take the nasty vitamin concoction (supposedly). Maybe some babies still do end up having to take liquid vitamins if they are formula fed, I'm not sure. I mainly wanted to breastfeed McKenna because I knew it would be good for her immune system and honestly I wanted to save money (for those of you who don't know, formula isn't cheap). It just makes me wonder...if breastmilk is so fantastic why should we have to supplement with motor oil vitamins? Sometimes I think it would have been easier if we had just formula fed her from the beginning. It would have been expensive and I would have felt like a bad Mom if I had formula fed her though (thanks to the pressure I put on myself and the pressure that I feel from others about breastfeeding). After a rough start breastfeeding is working out for us, even if we do have to give McKenna the lovely Poly-Vi-Sol vitamins. Guess it's what's best for us for now.
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
Friday, January 21, 2011
Random Things
Well, here it is...my last day of maternity leave. I'll try to get on here from time to time to post some more deep and interesting (hmm...) thoughts but no promises when I'll be working full time and being a Mom full time as well. Today's blog is just a collection of random facts and thoughts.
1. My fingernails are my best feature.
They have always grown quickly, are strong, and best of all they naturally grow into a nice oval shape so I don't even have to file them. I have had to keep them short since I had McKenna so I don't scratch or poke her but that is fine. It really doesn't bother me.
2. I am someone who actually enjoys being pregnant.
Love me or hate me for it. When I was pregnant with McKenna it was a pretty enjoyable experience, with the exception of a few typical pregnancy aches and pains, heartburn and swelling. I had absolutely no morning sickness throughout and at my very last OB appointment I had put on 36 pounds. Not too bad. You never know, the next time I get KO it may be very different. I'm hoping that's not the case though.
3. Things in my life never tend to go smoothly.
You can bet on it, whenever something happens in my life there is never a straight path through to the end. Whatever random roadblock or hurdle that can possibly be there will be there. This applies to all aspects of my life-professional and personal. A good example of this is the fact that although my dissolution was finalized from my ex-husband over three years ago, we still own a house together. I wish there was some way that he could or would buy me out. It is the only albatross that still is hanging around my neck from that particular time in my life.
4. I have never in my life been to Florida.
I think that I have traveled pretty extensively in my 33 years on this Earth. I have been to Canada numerous times, Mexico, the Bahamas, France (twice), Costa Rica, Belize, and many different states in the United States. However, Florida is not one of them. Even with all the international travel that I've done I've never once had a layover/departure/landing in Florida. I have told family members and friends this fact and they look at me like I'm crazy. I've just never had the opportunity to go there. I'm not a Disney fan (gasp!) so I don't have any burning desire to go to Disney World. I'm sure I'll make it to Florida at some point in my life, just haven't yet.
5. If I could go anywhere in the world I would go to Tahiti.
Gorgeous beaches, little huts on stilts right over the water that you can stay in, and they speak French. Need I say more? However, going to Tahiti is not cheap and the flight is horribly long. Not sure when or if I will ever have the chance to go there. More realistically I would love to go to Seattle and Vancouver or maybe up to Maine. I really need to get my passport re-done (it is still under my previously married name). That can be a goal of mine for the summer.
6. I am addicted to trashy reality TV.
Real Housewives of Atlanta, Bridalplasty, Big Brother, Teen Mom 2, Jersey Shore, I could go on and on. Even though I've heard that a lot of "reality" TV is in actuality scripted, I still enjoy it. It is entertaining to see that some people have lives that are more of a train wreck than my own (not that mine is all that bad, but still).
7. One of the things I miss most is having time to read.
From a very young age, I have always had my nose stuck in a book or magazine. Ask pretty much anyone who knows me. Since having McKenna I haven't had much time to indulge in my favorite activity and I'm sure I'll have even less time once I get back to work this coming week. I used to plow through a book a week or sometimes even more. Hopefully over the summer I'll have some more time to read, especially since I'm working at the MCC again (woo hoo golf shop). I'm looking forward to that.
8. At one point in time I totally stopped drinking pop/soda.
Several years ago I did a weight loss challenge with my Mom, Aunt, and my cousin's now ex-wife. I kept to a very strict 1200 calorie/day diet and worked out almost every day of the week. I was a huge pop/soda drinker before the weight loss challenge and I managed to wean myself off it gradually by switching to carbonated flavored water, then flat flavored water, then just regular water. I was really good for a long time and in the last couple of years have started drinking pop/soda again. I don't overdo it (maybe 1 can a day of Coke or if we go to a restaurant I drink it there) but I know I'd save a lot of calories if I could kick the habit again. In addition to renewing my passport, maybe this could be another goal to meet by the end of the summer.
9. I worry about my dog dying.
My ex-husband and I got Dakota in May 2001 when he lived in Mansfield. She was only 6 or 8 weeks old when we got her and with the exception of May-June 2001 when she was still in Mansfield at the house where she was born (we had to wait until I was done with student teaching and then I had her live with me at my parents house) she has been with me ever since. I know it might sound weird but she has been with me through a lot. She was there when my Dad was sick, when he died, through the crumbling of my first marriage and subsequent divorce. She has also been a real trooper about me getting re-married, having to move after living in my previous house for almost 7 years, and she has been wonderful with McKenna. Not bad for a dog that will be 10 years old in March. I love her very much and I will miss her when she is gone. We don't plan on getting another dog after she dies (at least not anytime soon after that). Maybe when McKenna is a bit older and can help take care of a dog. There will never be another dog like Dakota though. She is truly a special white beast "fur child" to me.
10. I have a cut-off date for having kids.
Originally when I got married I was 23. I would have liked to start having children around 27 or 28, but if you know me (or even if you don't) nothing in my life ever seems to go according to plan (see Random Thing number 3 above). Therefore, I had McKenna exactly one day after my 33rd birthday. We have no plans to have another child right away; maybe in another 2 or 3 years when McKenna is a bit more independent. If everything goes well and we don't have issues TTC that would put me at 35 or 36 when we have our next child. We have talked about having three children total, and if we did want to do that I don't want to have any more kids past the age of 38. No particular reason, it's not because I worry that it would be dangerous or anything like that, it's just a personal choice. I don't want to be 39 or 40 years old and still having kids. I know that being older and having kids is way more commonplace now, but it's just not for me. I can't wrap my mind around the fact that if we had a child at 40 he or she wouldn't graduate until we were 58 years old. I attribute this cut off date to having had very young parents (my Mom will just be turning 52 this June and I turned 33 in November; you do the math. My Dad would have been 52 this coming August but died from liver cancer when he was 48). It always seemed like a really great thing to have your kids grown and out of the house when you were in your mid-forties. Obviously that won't happen with McKenna, seeing as we'll be 51 or so when she graduates from high school, but it's still pretty young. Way better than being 58.
10 random things is good enough for me for now. Maybe you knew some of these things about me and maybe you didn't. Hopefully some of them have provided you with a new or interesting way to see me.
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
1. My fingernails are my best feature.
They have always grown quickly, are strong, and best of all they naturally grow into a nice oval shape so I don't even have to file them. I have had to keep them short since I had McKenna so I don't scratch or poke her but that is fine. It really doesn't bother me.
2. I am someone who actually enjoys being pregnant.
Love me or hate me for it. When I was pregnant with McKenna it was a pretty enjoyable experience, with the exception of a few typical pregnancy aches and pains, heartburn and swelling. I had absolutely no morning sickness throughout and at my very last OB appointment I had put on 36 pounds. Not too bad. You never know, the next time I get KO it may be very different. I'm hoping that's not the case though.
3. Things in my life never tend to go smoothly.
You can bet on it, whenever something happens in my life there is never a straight path through to the end. Whatever random roadblock or hurdle that can possibly be there will be there. This applies to all aspects of my life-professional and personal. A good example of this is the fact that although my dissolution was finalized from my ex-husband over three years ago, we still own a house together. I wish there was some way that he could or would buy me out. It is the only albatross that still is hanging around my neck from that particular time in my life.
4. I have never in my life been to Florida.
I think that I have traveled pretty extensively in my 33 years on this Earth. I have been to Canada numerous times, Mexico, the Bahamas, France (twice), Costa Rica, Belize, and many different states in the United States. However, Florida is not one of them. Even with all the international travel that I've done I've never once had a layover/departure/landing in Florida. I have told family members and friends this fact and they look at me like I'm crazy. I've just never had the opportunity to go there. I'm not a Disney fan (gasp!) so I don't have any burning desire to go to Disney World. I'm sure I'll make it to Florida at some point in my life, just haven't yet.
5. If I could go anywhere in the world I would go to Tahiti.
Gorgeous beaches, little huts on stilts right over the water that you can stay in, and they speak French. Need I say more? However, going to Tahiti is not cheap and the flight is horribly long. Not sure when or if I will ever have the chance to go there. More realistically I would love to go to Seattle and Vancouver or maybe up to Maine. I really need to get my passport re-done (it is still under my previously married name). That can be a goal of mine for the summer.
6. I am addicted to trashy reality TV.
Real Housewives of Atlanta, Bridalplasty, Big Brother, Teen Mom 2, Jersey Shore, I could go on and on. Even though I've heard that a lot of "reality" TV is in actuality scripted, I still enjoy it. It is entertaining to see that some people have lives that are more of a train wreck than my own (not that mine is all that bad, but still).
7. One of the things I miss most is having time to read.
From a very young age, I have always had my nose stuck in a book or magazine. Ask pretty much anyone who knows me. Since having McKenna I haven't had much time to indulge in my favorite activity and I'm sure I'll have even less time once I get back to work this coming week. I used to plow through a book a week or sometimes even more. Hopefully over the summer I'll have some more time to read, especially since I'm working at the MCC again (woo hoo golf shop). I'm looking forward to that.
8. At one point in time I totally stopped drinking pop/soda.
Several years ago I did a weight loss challenge with my Mom, Aunt, and my cousin's now ex-wife. I kept to a very strict 1200 calorie/day diet and worked out almost every day of the week. I was a huge pop/soda drinker before the weight loss challenge and I managed to wean myself off it gradually by switching to carbonated flavored water, then flat flavored water, then just regular water. I was really good for a long time and in the last couple of years have started drinking pop/soda again. I don't overdo it (maybe 1 can a day of Coke or if we go to a restaurant I drink it there) but I know I'd save a lot of calories if I could kick the habit again. In addition to renewing my passport, maybe this could be another goal to meet by the end of the summer.
9. I worry about my dog dying.
My ex-husband and I got Dakota in May 2001 when he lived in Mansfield. She was only 6 or 8 weeks old when we got her and with the exception of May-June 2001 when she was still in Mansfield at the house where she was born (we had to wait until I was done with student teaching and then I had her live with me at my parents house) she has been with me ever since. I know it might sound weird but she has been with me through a lot. She was there when my Dad was sick, when he died, through the crumbling of my first marriage and subsequent divorce. She has also been a real trooper about me getting re-married, having to move after living in my previous house for almost 7 years, and she has been wonderful with McKenna. Not bad for a dog that will be 10 years old in March. I love her very much and I will miss her when she is gone. We don't plan on getting another dog after she dies (at least not anytime soon after that). Maybe when McKenna is a bit older and can help take care of a dog. There will never be another dog like Dakota though. She is truly a special white beast "fur child" to me.
10. I have a cut-off date for having kids.
Originally when I got married I was 23. I would have liked to start having children around 27 or 28, but if you know me (or even if you don't) nothing in my life ever seems to go according to plan (see Random Thing number 3 above). Therefore, I had McKenna exactly one day after my 33rd birthday. We have no plans to have another child right away; maybe in another 2 or 3 years when McKenna is a bit more independent. If everything goes well and we don't have issues TTC that would put me at 35 or 36 when we have our next child. We have talked about having three children total, and if we did want to do that I don't want to have any more kids past the age of 38. No particular reason, it's not because I worry that it would be dangerous or anything like that, it's just a personal choice. I don't want to be 39 or 40 years old and still having kids. I know that being older and having kids is way more commonplace now, but it's just not for me. I can't wrap my mind around the fact that if we had a child at 40 he or she wouldn't graduate until we were 58 years old. I attribute this cut off date to having had very young parents (my Mom will just be turning 52 this June and I turned 33 in November; you do the math. My Dad would have been 52 this coming August but died from liver cancer when he was 48). It always seemed like a really great thing to have your kids grown and out of the house when you were in your mid-forties. Obviously that won't happen with McKenna, seeing as we'll be 51 or so when she graduates from high school, but it's still pretty young. Way better than being 58.
10 random things is good enough for me for now. Maybe you knew some of these things about me and maybe you didn't. Hopefully some of them have provided you with a new or interesting way to see me.
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
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