Day 9: Things You Are Looking Forward to in 2012
I am looking forward to lots of things in 2012. One of them would be our income tax return! We are in desperate need of a new garage door. Ours must be the original garage door (our house was built in either 1975 or 1976) because it is wood and the bottom is peeling upward. There is enough space between the bottom of the garage door and the concrete slab that we have a little chipmunk that runs in and out of the garage! I think he considers the garage his winter living space. I wouldn’t be surprised if the garage door opener is the original one as well, so when we replace the garage door we will replace the opener as well. We will be purchasing one of the nice aluminum garage doors and hopefully that will last a good long time! I am also looking forward to getting a new home computer. It is nice that I have my laptop from work that we can use every weekend (and on weeknights, if need be) but it gets tiring hauling it back and forth all the time. We will have to talk and see whether we want to purchase another desktop or a laptop. Maybe we’ll find a great deal where we can get one of each! Another thing that I am looking forward to in 2012 is getting away for a long weekend with Justin! I would really like to be able to go back to Oglebay, since the last time we were there was the end of July 2010 when I was pregnant with McKenna. We really need some “us” time since we so seldom are able to have that! I am also looking forward to being (hopefully) more financially stable in 2012, at least in the later part of the year. It has been really difficult since Justin has basically had his salary slashed in half since September this year! I also am looking forward to continuing to watch McKenna grow and learn new things every day. She is truly a joy and we are so fortunate to have her in our lives.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Day 7: 10 Things You Want to Say to 10 People
10 Things You Want to Say to 10 People
I am not going to specify names here; some of these will be REALLY obvious and some won’t. Don’t assume-it may or may not be directed toward you. If you are truly that curious you can ask and I’ll let you know if one of these is directed at you-that is, if you can take it. ;)
1. I can only hope that the universe continues to pay you back for all that you did to me and took from me. It is difficult sometimes because all the payback in the world won’t ever make up for a wound/scar that will never quite heal. You made me lose faith and trust in people and also made me distrust the people who I love and who love me the most, most of the time for irrational reasons. I honestly believe that the only thing that would ever make you realize the damage that you caused is for you to have your heart shattered the same way that mine was. Otherwise, you are so self-centered that you would never get it.
2. You pre-judged me even before you actually met me and I was accused of things that were and are not true at all-that I may (GASP!) have had a child from my first marriage, that I was only after Justin for his money (ha ha, anyone who has an actual idea of the teaching profession is probably laughing along with me at this one), that there was something “wrong” with me because my first marriage failed. You have made it clear that you don’t care about me, my husband, or my child and I don’t have a problem with that; in fact, I intend to keep it that way. You never knew anything about me, and you will continue to know nothing about me (firsthand, that is, since you get all your information about us secondhand anyhow).
3. If you don’t like where your life has ended up or you feel as if you are stuck in a rut, make an effort that will result in some type of change. Don’t like your job? Do something about it. Don’t like your relationship status? Go out there and get that guy/girl of your dreams. Don’t just leave it up to fate to take care of these things, as sometimes fate does its job and sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes you have to be the one to make a choice and get out there and go for what you want. Oh, and if you are doing nothing about it, you ARE making a choice.
4. I know things have been crazy this past year with our job situations and also with McKenna. I know sometimes you think that I feel that you don’t love me and I can assure you that is definitely not true. You have been there through the good, the bad and the ugly. You make me think twice about things before I take action on them. You are the best husband and father that I could ever hope for. Even though I may not always show it, I hope you know how much I love you and appreciate all that you have brought to my life. I don’t know where the hell I would be if I hadn’t met you and had this journey with you.
5. To my KenKen-you put a smile on my face every day, and even when you do crazy things like wake up at 3:00 A.M. and again at 4:30 A.M. screaming, I still love you more than anything. You are most definitely the greatest belated birthday gift that I have ever received. I hope that I will be the kind of mother that you can look up to and see me not only as your Mom, but also as a friend and confidant. I promise not to tell Daddy embarrassing things about you as you get older. ;)
6. I am so glad that even after all of the shit hit the fan that we are still friends and I know that I can come to you and talk to you about anything. You have helped us out in a pinch with babysitting and you were the first one to volunteer to come over and watch McKenna for us when she was only a few weeks old and we were in dire need of a night out. Thank you so much for being a great “outlaw” and for being there not only for me but for my family as well. You will never know how much this means to me.
7. I miss you and I am sorry that you never got a chance to meet either Marley or McKenna. I know that you would be thrilled with both of your granddaughters and that you would absolutely adore them. I get so angry when people complain about their fathers dying when they are in their 60s, 70s, or even 80s-that’s WAY more time than we had with you. I think of you often and especially with December 17 approaching you have been on my mind frequently. I love you and will continue to look for your “signs” that help guide me through difficult times.
8. The world does not revolve around you, although you seem to think that it does. Grow up and learn the definition of the word “compromise.” Come to think of it, you need to learn what the words “empathy” and “sympathy” mean as well. I think if you learned what those are and actually used them in your daily life then you would be a better person.
9. Thank you for all the love and support that you provide for us on a daily basis. Times have been rough lately and I don’t know how we would make it through without your help. You have been through so much in the last 4 years and you have proved to me time and time again how strong you truly are. I am so glad that I can call you not only Mom, but also my friend. I know that you will be there to listen when I have a good day or a bad day and I know that you will be there for me through thick and thin. We can never show you how much your love and support means to us.
10. I don’t even know you personally and I couldn’t stand you for the longest time. However, I need you to know that you did one of the biggest favors for me of anyone in my life-breaking up my marriage. I only hope that if you are being treated the way that I was that you are at least semi-intelligent enough to get out while you can. Nobody deserves to be verbally and emotionally abused, even a homewrecker like you. ;)
I am not going to specify names here; some of these will be REALLY obvious and some won’t. Don’t assume-it may or may not be directed toward you. If you are truly that curious you can ask and I’ll let you know if one of these is directed at you-that is, if you can take it. ;)
1. I can only hope that the universe continues to pay you back for all that you did to me and took from me. It is difficult sometimes because all the payback in the world won’t ever make up for a wound/scar that will never quite heal. You made me lose faith and trust in people and also made me distrust the people who I love and who love me the most, most of the time for irrational reasons. I honestly believe that the only thing that would ever make you realize the damage that you caused is for you to have your heart shattered the same way that mine was. Otherwise, you are so self-centered that you would never get it.
2. You pre-judged me even before you actually met me and I was accused of things that were and are not true at all-that I may (GASP!) have had a child from my first marriage, that I was only after Justin for his money (ha ha, anyone who has an actual idea of the teaching profession is probably laughing along with me at this one), that there was something “wrong” with me because my first marriage failed. You have made it clear that you don’t care about me, my husband, or my child and I don’t have a problem with that; in fact, I intend to keep it that way. You never knew anything about me, and you will continue to know nothing about me (firsthand, that is, since you get all your information about us secondhand anyhow).
3. If you don’t like where your life has ended up or you feel as if you are stuck in a rut, make an effort that will result in some type of change. Don’t like your job? Do something about it. Don’t like your relationship status? Go out there and get that guy/girl of your dreams. Don’t just leave it up to fate to take care of these things, as sometimes fate does its job and sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes you have to be the one to make a choice and get out there and go for what you want. Oh, and if you are doing nothing about it, you ARE making a choice.
4. I know things have been crazy this past year with our job situations and also with McKenna. I know sometimes you think that I feel that you don’t love me and I can assure you that is definitely not true. You have been there through the good, the bad and the ugly. You make me think twice about things before I take action on them. You are the best husband and father that I could ever hope for. Even though I may not always show it, I hope you know how much I love you and appreciate all that you have brought to my life. I don’t know where the hell I would be if I hadn’t met you and had this journey with you.
5. To my KenKen-you put a smile on my face every day, and even when you do crazy things like wake up at 3:00 A.M. and again at 4:30 A.M. screaming, I still love you more than anything. You are most definitely the greatest belated birthday gift that I have ever received. I hope that I will be the kind of mother that you can look up to and see me not only as your Mom, but also as a friend and confidant. I promise not to tell Daddy embarrassing things about you as you get older. ;)
6. I am so glad that even after all of the shit hit the fan that we are still friends and I know that I can come to you and talk to you about anything. You have helped us out in a pinch with babysitting and you were the first one to volunteer to come over and watch McKenna for us when she was only a few weeks old and we were in dire need of a night out. Thank you so much for being a great “outlaw” and for being there not only for me but for my family as well. You will never know how much this means to me.
7. I miss you and I am sorry that you never got a chance to meet either Marley or McKenna. I know that you would be thrilled with both of your granddaughters and that you would absolutely adore them. I get so angry when people complain about their fathers dying when they are in their 60s, 70s, or even 80s-that’s WAY more time than we had with you. I think of you often and especially with December 17 approaching you have been on my mind frequently. I love you and will continue to look for your “signs” that help guide me through difficult times.
8. The world does not revolve around you, although you seem to think that it does. Grow up and learn the definition of the word “compromise.” Come to think of it, you need to learn what the words “empathy” and “sympathy” mean as well. I think if you learned what those are and actually used them in your daily life then you would be a better person.
9. Thank you for all the love and support that you provide for us on a daily basis. Times have been rough lately and I don’t know how we would make it through without your help. You have been through so much in the last 4 years and you have proved to me time and time again how strong you truly are. I am so glad that I can call you not only Mom, but also my friend. I know that you will be there to listen when I have a good day or a bad day and I know that you will be there for me through thick and thin. We can never show you how much your love and support means to us.
10. I don’t even know you personally and I couldn’t stand you for the longest time. However, I need you to know that you did one of the biggest favors for me of anyone in my life-breaking up my marriage. I only hope that if you are being treated the way that I was that you are at least semi-intelligent enough to get out while you can. Nobody deserves to be verbally and emotionally abused, even a homewrecker like you. ;)
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Day 8: Things You Hope for In 2012
I am going to cheat a bit and switch days 7 and 8. I already have the post for day 7 and have had it completed for awhile, but it is saved in a place that I do not have access to at the current moment so it will have to wait! It is a good post, one that I cannot wait to share! But, here is today's post (which is actually supposed to be today's post anyhow).
Day 8: Things You Hope for In 2012
There are several things that I am hoping for in 2012. The main thing right now would be for Justin and I to both have stable, full-time education jobs for the 2012-2013 school year. I hope that Justin will be able to continue working where he is currently working, but that he will be able to move to a kindergarten position. I also hope that this position will pay him at the level he is supposed to be at, with 8 years experience at a Masters degree level. I am hoping that I will be able to continue working at my school as a school counselor. I have heard (unofficially) that they are no longer talking about cutting an elementary school counselor position for next school year, and I am hoping that is the case. Seeing as I am now the counselor on the very bottom of the totem pole (since the only person below me left for another job in another place), I would be the one on the chopping block. I also hope that at some point Justin and I will be able to either stop working our second jobs or that we will just be able to use the money for fun things, or to save for McKenna for college. Right now we need to work our second jobs just to make ends meet, and with my second job being seasonal, that doesn't make things any easier. Justin stopped working his second job this past March or April so that he could spend more time at home on the weekends and evenings with McKenna and I. Unfortunately he recently had to re-apply and will start working again tomorrow (after teaching a full day) from 6:00-10:15. Then of course he will have to get up on Tuesday morning and teach all day again! I am hoping that 2012 will be a time when we don't have to worry so much about how we are going to pay all the bills on time, buy groceries, etc.
I am also hoping that in 2012 we may have a little brother or sister for McKenna! We're not getting any younger and I don't want our kids to be too far apart in age (2-3 years apart would be great). I tell people that I am not having any kids past the age of 38, and I always get the "Oh, people have kids into their 40s nowadays" line. That is fine for other people, but it is not what we plan on doing. So, if I am talking to you about having another child or children and I tell you that my cutoff age is 38, please don't tell me what I stated above. I would like to be under 60 when my kids graduate from high school, thank you very much.
I also hope that in 2012 I can re-connect with some friends that I have been out of touch with. There are a couple in particular that I have not been very good at keeping in touch with and I'd like to be a better friend and better about keeping in touch with them.
I think that's a pretty good explanation of my hopes for the coming year. It will be interesting to see how many of them actually come to fruition.
Day 8: Things You Hope for In 2012
There are several things that I am hoping for in 2012. The main thing right now would be for Justin and I to both have stable, full-time education jobs for the 2012-2013 school year. I hope that Justin will be able to continue working where he is currently working, but that he will be able to move to a kindergarten position. I also hope that this position will pay him at the level he is supposed to be at, with 8 years experience at a Masters degree level. I am hoping that I will be able to continue working at my school as a school counselor. I have heard (unofficially) that they are no longer talking about cutting an elementary school counselor position for next school year, and I am hoping that is the case. Seeing as I am now the counselor on the very bottom of the totem pole (since the only person below me left for another job in another place), I would be the one on the chopping block. I also hope that at some point Justin and I will be able to either stop working our second jobs or that we will just be able to use the money for fun things, or to save for McKenna for college. Right now we need to work our second jobs just to make ends meet, and with my second job being seasonal, that doesn't make things any easier. Justin stopped working his second job this past March or April so that he could spend more time at home on the weekends and evenings with McKenna and I. Unfortunately he recently had to re-apply and will start working again tomorrow (after teaching a full day) from 6:00-10:15. Then of course he will have to get up on Tuesday morning and teach all day again! I am hoping that 2012 will be a time when we don't have to worry so much about how we are going to pay all the bills on time, buy groceries, etc.
I am also hoping that in 2012 we may have a little brother or sister for McKenna! We're not getting any younger and I don't want our kids to be too far apart in age (2-3 years apart would be great). I tell people that I am not having any kids past the age of 38, and I always get the "Oh, people have kids into their 40s nowadays" line. That is fine for other people, but it is not what we plan on doing. So, if I am talking to you about having another child or children and I tell you that my cutoff age is 38, please don't tell me what I stated above. I would like to be under 60 when my kids graduate from high school, thank you very much.
I also hope that in 2012 I can re-connect with some friends that I have been out of touch with. There are a couple in particular that I have not been very good at keeping in touch with and I'd like to be a better friend and better about keeping in touch with them.
I think that's a pretty good explanation of my hopes for the coming year. It will be interesting to see how many of them actually come to fruition.
Day 5: Describe an Adventure You Had This Year and Day 6: Any Words of Wisdom/Advice for Anyone?
Day 5: Describe an adventure you had this year.
Once again I am a bad blogger. Not having a computer that works at home and refusing to drag my laptop home every single night has not helped either. Not to sound redundant, but an adventure that I have had this year is starting my position as a school counselor. When I was working on my Masters degree and when I did my internship, I had always had my heart set on becoming a high school counselor. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that I would become an elementary school counselor (and even stranger to me) that I would absolutely love working with kids in grades kindergarten through four! I have all different types of things that I do every week (sometimes every day but not always), which include but are not limited to the following: individual counseling, small group counseling, classroom guidance, RTI meeting coordinator, 504 plan coordinator/writer of 504 plans/504 plan reviews, coordination of testing weeks in October and April (I'm still amazed that I pulled that one off in October, pretty much all by my lonesome-it included distributing tests to all of our 2nd, 3rd, and 4th grade teachers, figuring out appropriate places for our students who have IEPs and 504 plans to test, and rearranging some schedules to make sure that all classes still had their specials, like art, phys. ed., and music). I also have been in charge of Thanksgiving food basket distribution for needy families at my school and I have also been in charge of our Giving Tree program this holiday season. Thanks to the generosity of the teachers and staff in my building, the children of 10 families in my building will be able to have holiday gifts this year. I would estimate that there are easily 50-60 gifts sitting in my office right now, and I am sure that I will be getting more in before the due date of Wednesday this week! It has been an adjustment but I really love my counselor position and hope that it will not be one of the positions that gets cut for next school year, as my district still has to make $2 million in cuts for next school year.
Day 6: Any words of wisdom/advice for anyone?
I am generally an outspoken person but I am learning that there are times to voice your opinion and times when you should keep your opinions to yourself. I think that there are many people that I know that would benefit from this.
Also, enjoy each day and try to live it to its fullest. Life is too short and goes by way too fast. I feel as if I'm going to turn around and McKenna will be 18 and heading off to college already.
Once again I am a bad blogger. Not having a computer that works at home and refusing to drag my laptop home every single night has not helped either. Not to sound redundant, but an adventure that I have had this year is starting my position as a school counselor. When I was working on my Masters degree and when I did my internship, I had always had my heart set on becoming a high school counselor. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that I would become an elementary school counselor (and even stranger to me) that I would absolutely love working with kids in grades kindergarten through four! I have all different types of things that I do every week (sometimes every day but not always), which include but are not limited to the following: individual counseling, small group counseling, classroom guidance, RTI meeting coordinator, 504 plan coordinator/writer of 504 plans/504 plan reviews, coordination of testing weeks in October and April (I'm still amazed that I pulled that one off in October, pretty much all by my lonesome-it included distributing tests to all of our 2nd, 3rd, and 4th grade teachers, figuring out appropriate places for our students who have IEPs and 504 plans to test, and rearranging some schedules to make sure that all classes still had their specials, like art, phys. ed., and music). I also have been in charge of Thanksgiving food basket distribution for needy families at my school and I have also been in charge of our Giving Tree program this holiday season. Thanks to the generosity of the teachers and staff in my building, the children of 10 families in my building will be able to have holiday gifts this year. I would estimate that there are easily 50-60 gifts sitting in my office right now, and I am sure that I will be getting more in before the due date of Wednesday this week! It has been an adjustment but I really love my counselor position and hope that it will not be one of the positions that gets cut for next school year, as my district still has to make $2 million in cuts for next school year.
Day 6: Any words of wisdom/advice for anyone?
I am generally an outspoken person but I am learning that there are times to voice your opinion and times when you should keep your opinions to yourself. I think that there are many people that I know that would benefit from this.
Also, enjoy each day and try to live it to its fullest. Life is too short and goes by way too fast. I feel as if I'm going to turn around and McKenna will be 18 and heading off to college already.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Day 3: A Person Who Has Impacted Your Life in Some Way This Year & Day 4: Something You've Learned This Year
Day 3: A Person Who Has Impacted Your Life in Some Way This Year
A person who has impacted my life this year is the principal at my school, Mrs. Donna Bambic. She has been there for me since the very beginning of the school year and has always answered my questions, no matter how silly they sometimes seem. She has assisted me with students, presentations, parent meetings, and many other things. Not that I am trying to make excuses or anything, but going from teaching high school French for 10 ½ years and then going to a school counselor position at a K-4 elementary building is a BIG jump. I also really enjoy Donna because she tells it like it is, with both staff and students. Hmm, I think I know someone else who does that! J Another thing that I like is that she is not afraid to push me out of my comfort zone. For example, I received an e-mail at the beginning of the very first week of school that said, “Please have an anti-bullying presentation prepared by Friday so that you can present it to our students in grades 1-4!” Talk about baptism by fire! She had me hit the ground running and I don’t think that I’ve stopped since. I feel that she has had a huge impact on my professional life and in my personal life as well, as she has told me several times that family always comes first. I had to leave halfway through the day on the second day of school because my daughter had her 9 month well visit, and she didn’t hesitate at all when I told her I would have to leave work early because of it. She just told me that she was sure I’d make up the time eventually (which I am more than certain by this point that I have). She is a great leader, well-respected, and a person who truly cares about what is best for the students and the staff in her school.
Day 4: Something You’ve Learned This Year
My husband and I have always had a friendly debate over education. Until this past school year, I had always worked at the secondary/high school level. This is his ninth year teaching and he has always been in an elementary setting (grades K-3). We would always talk about which grade levels had more work to do-elementary or high school. I always insisted that high school teachers had more work to do, as most of the time we have 2, 3, or 4 preps (I almost always had 3 preps-usually French I, II and III-there were maybe 2 years out of the almost 11 that I taught French that I only had 2 preps), grading, photocopying, etc. He would argue with me that elementary school teachers had more work to do, as they essentially have 4 different “preps” each day, with reading/spelling/phonics, math, science, and social studies. At the high school level we usually had 1 planning period that was almost 50 minutes long and then another “duty period” which in essence was another almost 50 minute planning period. My husband said that they only got planning when their students went to specials, like art, music, or PE and then if they either came in to school early or stayed late. I usually pooh-pooed his idea of elementary education being more difficult, and went on believing that high school teachers worked so much harder.
Now, after almost an entire semester spent working in an elementary building, I can say that he was the one who was correct in this argument. Elementary school teachers bust their asses EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. The majority of them are at school way early and a lot stay way late to get their work done, get ahead in planning lessons, or get caught up from underneath the slew of paperwork that they have to grade. They spend more of what I would consider “quality” time with their students where the students are truly engaged in the learning process. When I worked at the high school, many (if not most) of the teachers were out the door at 2:30, when we were allowed to leave. Yes, there were (and are) some that stayed late and also arrived early, but I see way more of that at the elementary level.
This distinction and fact is definitely something that I have learned this year and that I have already shared with my husband. He was happy to have been right about something for once. J
A person who has impacted my life this year is the principal at my school, Mrs. Donna Bambic. She has been there for me since the very beginning of the school year and has always answered my questions, no matter how silly they sometimes seem. She has assisted me with students, presentations, parent meetings, and many other things. Not that I am trying to make excuses or anything, but going from teaching high school French for 10 ½ years and then going to a school counselor position at a K-4 elementary building is a BIG jump. I also really enjoy Donna because she tells it like it is, with both staff and students. Hmm, I think I know someone else who does that! J Another thing that I like is that she is not afraid to push me out of my comfort zone. For example, I received an e-mail at the beginning of the very first week of school that said, “Please have an anti-bullying presentation prepared by Friday so that you can present it to our students in grades 1-4!” Talk about baptism by fire! She had me hit the ground running and I don’t think that I’ve stopped since. I feel that she has had a huge impact on my professional life and in my personal life as well, as she has told me several times that family always comes first. I had to leave halfway through the day on the second day of school because my daughter had her 9 month well visit, and she didn’t hesitate at all when I told her I would have to leave work early because of it. She just told me that she was sure I’d make up the time eventually (which I am more than certain by this point that I have). She is a great leader, well-respected, and a person who truly cares about what is best for the students and the staff in her school.
Day 4: Something You’ve Learned This Year
My husband and I have always had a friendly debate over education. Until this past school year, I had always worked at the secondary/high school level. This is his ninth year teaching and he has always been in an elementary setting (grades K-3). We would always talk about which grade levels had more work to do-elementary or high school. I always insisted that high school teachers had more work to do, as most of the time we have 2, 3, or 4 preps (I almost always had 3 preps-usually French I, II and III-there were maybe 2 years out of the almost 11 that I taught French that I only had 2 preps), grading, photocopying, etc. He would argue with me that elementary school teachers had more work to do, as they essentially have 4 different “preps” each day, with reading/spelling/phonics, math, science, and social studies. At the high school level we usually had 1 planning period that was almost 50 minutes long and then another “duty period” which in essence was another almost 50 minute planning period. My husband said that they only got planning when their students went to specials, like art, music, or PE and then if they either came in to school early or stayed late. I usually pooh-pooed his idea of elementary education being more difficult, and went on believing that high school teachers worked so much harder.
Now, after almost an entire semester spent working in an elementary building, I can say that he was the one who was correct in this argument. Elementary school teachers bust their asses EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. The majority of them are at school way early and a lot stay way late to get their work done, get ahead in planning lessons, or get caught up from underneath the slew of paperwork that they have to grade. They spend more of what I would consider “quality” time with their students where the students are truly engaged in the learning process. When I worked at the high school, many (if not most) of the teachers were out the door at 2:30, when we were allowed to leave. Yes, there were (and are) some that stayed late and also arrived early, but I see way more of that at the elementary level.
This distinction and fact is definitely something that I have learned this year and that I have already shared with my husband. He was happy to have been right about something for once. J
Monday, December 5, 2011
Day 2: How Much Have You Changed Overall in 2011?
Day 2: How much have you changed overall in 2011?
Hmm, interesting question and when I answer this it may sound quite contradictory. In many ways I have grown more patient. Raising a 1 year old daughter and also working in a school building with nearly 500 kids in grades K-4 will do that to you though, I guess. I like the calmer, less hot-headed side of me. On the flip side, I also think that I am less willing to put up with people’s bullshit. I don’t beat around the bush-if there is something that I would like to get an answer to I will go to that person or those people and ask. If you are going against something in writing or something that you previously said to me, I will fight you until the final outcome of that decision. I also think that I have grown less naïve. I have learned that even though you may have been working for some place or someone for quite a long time it doesn’t mean that they are going to save your ass when you are in a bad position. Basically, loyalty and providing good service means squat. I would never have thought that way before this year. I am also really enjoying spending time with my family. We had a really small but nice Thanksgiving dinner/celebration and I am sure that Christmas will be largely the same. I am looking forward to that in a few short weeks!
Hmm, interesting question and when I answer this it may sound quite contradictory. In many ways I have grown more patient. Raising a 1 year old daughter and also working in a school building with nearly 500 kids in grades K-4 will do that to you though, I guess. I like the calmer, less hot-headed side of me. On the flip side, I also think that I am less willing to put up with people’s bullshit. I don’t beat around the bush-if there is something that I would like to get an answer to I will go to that person or those people and ask. If you are going against something in writing or something that you previously said to me, I will fight you until the final outcome of that decision. I also think that I have grown less naïve. I have learned that even though you may have been working for some place or someone for quite a long time it doesn’t mean that they are going to save your ass when you are in a bad position. Basically, loyalty and providing good service means squat. I would never have thought that way before this year. I am also really enjoying spending time with my family. We had a really small but nice Thanksgiving dinner/celebration and I am sure that Christmas will be largely the same. I am looking forward to that in a few short weeks!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
2011 Conclusion/2012 Introduction Challenge
It's been quite some time since I've blogged-I thought that maybe if I did a blog challenge I'd be a bit better about keeping up with blogging! Here are the topics for the next 10 days...
Day 1: What has been your most memorable moment in 2011?
Day 2: How much have you changed overall in 2011?
Day 3: A person who has impacted your life in some way this year.
Day 4: Something you’ve learned this year.
Day 5: Describe an adventure you had this year.
Day 6: Any words of wisdom/advice for anyone?
Day 7: 10 things you want to say 10 people.
Day 8: Things you hope for in 2012.
Day 9: What are you looking forward to in 2012?
Day 10: Anything you wish to say to end 2011/start 2012.
Day 1: What has been your most memorable moment in 2011?
Unfortunately my most memorable moment in 2011 was not a good one. It happened in October, when our assistant superintendent came to school with the RIF letters for the people that would lose their jobs at the beginning of second semester (January 23, 2012) if the school levy failed on November 8. I brought in a union rep with me, as I thoroughly believed (and still do) that if I got RIFed from my school counselor position that I should be able to go back to the high school and teach French. I sat there with the assistant superintendent and explained our family situation to him (husband got RIFed after 8 years teaching in the same district, now working as a permanent sub in a different district, yearly pay now cut to half of what he was previously making, I am the primary source of income and hold our year old daughter's health insurance, etc.) and got absolutely NO sympathy. I managed not to cry (almost happened, but I told myself silently that I would NOT cry) and told our AS that he would be hearing from me if the levy didn't pass in November and I lost my job in January. I fully intended to file a grievance against our school district if that had come to pass. Fortunately, the levy DID pass on November 8 and I do have a job for the rest of the school year. Unfortunately we are still in a $2 million deficit and we have to make more cuts for next school year. I'm not sure where that will leave me-as a school counselor, a French teacher, or with no job. All I know for sure is that when it boils down to it it's all about the money-the higher ups don't give a shit if you've been a loyal employee for 11 years and you are a tenured teacher with 2 different K-12 teaching licenses. That's the part of all this that's truly scary. Teaching used to be such a "safe" profession to be in-not so much any more.
Day 1: What has been your most memorable moment in 2011?
Day 2: How much have you changed overall in 2011?
Day 3: A person who has impacted your life in some way this year.
Day 4: Something you’ve learned this year.
Day 5: Describe an adventure you had this year.
Day 6: Any words of wisdom/advice for anyone?
Day 7: 10 things you want to say 10 people.
Day 8: Things you hope for in 2012.
Day 9: What are you looking forward to in 2012?
Day 10: Anything you wish to say to end 2011/start 2012.
Day 1: What has been your most memorable moment in 2011?
Unfortunately my most memorable moment in 2011 was not a good one. It happened in October, when our assistant superintendent came to school with the RIF letters for the people that would lose their jobs at the beginning of second semester (January 23, 2012) if the school levy failed on November 8. I brought in a union rep with me, as I thoroughly believed (and still do) that if I got RIFed from my school counselor position that I should be able to go back to the high school and teach French. I sat there with the assistant superintendent and explained our family situation to him (husband got RIFed after 8 years teaching in the same district, now working as a permanent sub in a different district, yearly pay now cut to half of what he was previously making, I am the primary source of income and hold our year old daughter's health insurance, etc.) and got absolutely NO sympathy. I managed not to cry (almost happened, but I told myself silently that I would NOT cry) and told our AS that he would be hearing from me if the levy didn't pass in November and I lost my job in January. I fully intended to file a grievance against our school district if that had come to pass. Fortunately, the levy DID pass on November 8 and I do have a job for the rest of the school year. Unfortunately we are still in a $2 million deficit and we have to make more cuts for next school year. I'm not sure where that will leave me-as a school counselor, a French teacher, or with no job. All I know for sure is that when it boils down to it it's all about the money-the higher ups don't give a shit if you've been a loyal employee for 11 years and you are a tenured teacher with 2 different K-12 teaching licenses. That's the part of all this that's truly scary. Teaching used to be such a "safe" profession to be in-not so much any more.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Wake Me Up When September Ends
Ah, September. This is possibly my one month of the year where absolutely NOTHING goes on. I used to have a wedding anniversary to look forward to, but not any more. I am perfectly fine with that. I had almost expected to be bitter on September 15, thinking that it would have been 10 years and that I should have been heading to Tahiti to celebrate. However, September 15 came and went and I never, at any point during the day or night, thought about that. I have been so busy with my new job that I don't have time to think about inconsequential things like a wedding anniversary that will never be.
When August rolls around I always have to think about getting ready to go back to school. In October we have NEOEA day and Halloween. In November of course, we get our turkey on, we'll be celebrating McKenna's first birthday, and in December we have Christmas and New Year's Eve. September is just there. It is just a great big stretch of 30 days of BLAH. I am ready for September to be over. Maybe by the end of September I will know if I will have a huge setback from the goal that I finally reached after 4 years. Maybe by the end of September I will be able to come to grips with the fact that what I have worked so hard for and what I have attained can be taken away oh so quickly. I haven't felt this relaxed and happy in years in my career and come January it may just not be there. I'm getting frustrated with those that say, "Well, at least you'll still have a job." Apparently that's the attitude we're all supposed to take in this economy. It's way too much to ask that you have a job that you're happy to be at every day-you just have to be happy that you have A job. It's so frustrating that the power is out of my hands and I have no say in any of this. If all of this comes to pass and further action takes place, I may be out of a job altogether at the end of this school year. In that case, I'm going back to school to get a nursing degree. All this bullshit makes me wonder if that's the path that I should have chosen in the first place, back in good old 1996. September, please hurry up and end. I just want to know what's going to happen to me work-wise and when you are over I will have things to look forward to. I don't know if I can stand you for the next 12 days.
Until then, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
When August rolls around I always have to think about getting ready to go back to school. In October we have NEOEA day and Halloween. In November of course, we get our turkey on, we'll be celebrating McKenna's first birthday, and in December we have Christmas and New Year's Eve. September is just there. It is just a great big stretch of 30 days of BLAH. I am ready for September to be over. Maybe by the end of September I will know if I will have a huge setback from the goal that I finally reached after 4 years. Maybe by the end of September I will be able to come to grips with the fact that what I have worked so hard for and what I have attained can be taken away oh so quickly. I haven't felt this relaxed and happy in years in my career and come January it may just not be there. I'm getting frustrated with those that say, "Well, at least you'll still have a job." Apparently that's the attitude we're all supposed to take in this economy. It's way too much to ask that you have a job that you're happy to be at every day-you just have to be happy that you have A job. It's so frustrating that the power is out of my hands and I have no say in any of this. If all of this comes to pass and further action takes place, I may be out of a job altogether at the end of this school year. In that case, I'm going back to school to get a nursing degree. All this bullshit makes me wonder if that's the path that I should have chosen in the first place, back in good old 1996. September, please hurry up and end. I just want to know what's going to happen to me work-wise and when you are over I will have things to look forward to. I don't know if I can stand you for the next 12 days.
Until then, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Aw, I'm Growing Up (How Cute) and Other Random Word Vomit
This past week I've gotten a glimpse of how I'm (finally) growing up. As the reality of heading back to school is setting in for both of us, I am realizing how much I will miss spending time with my family. A week from Monday I am supposed to be going to a dinner/spa night/ladies night at a restaurant that is "local" but is a bit of a drive for me. I have been to these dinners before, they are fun and are relatively inexpensive for a night out. The other night I sat back and thought to myself, "I don't really feel like going. I'd rather come home from work and spend time with Justin and McKenna." Doesn't look like I'm going to go to the dinner then, which is fine with me.
Another instance of growing up this week has been putting the concept of compromise into action. My husband can be a horrible procrastinator at times. Especially when both of us are teaching. I could never understand how he wouldn't start on his lesson plans until 9:00 P.M. on Sunday (for the week that was starting the next day) and wouldn't finish for 2 or 3 hours because he did his plans while he was watching TV and was therefore probably a bit distracted. Of course since I am organized beyond all belief and somewhat anal when it comes to lesson planning, I would go in to work each Monday morning and write my lesson plans for the next week to come, therefore I was always a week ahead with my lesson plans (see where I am going here? Total opposites when it comes to some school things). Well, with being a counselor this year I am free from lesson planning, at least for the most part. I will still have to plan for when I do classroom guidance, but that's O.K. Justin is going to be a permanent substitute for second grade and it is his first time ever teaching second grade-he has taught kindergarten, third grade, and when he student taught he taught first grade-but never second. I used to get very frustrated when he would follow his procrastination pattern on Sunday nights, seeing as he had taught kindergarten for seven years I never understood how it took him so long to write his plans. I told him the other day that I would not nag him or whine to him when he does his lesson plans, since he is teaching a new grade in a new school district, but in exchange he has to write his lesson plans in a more timely fashion (e.g., not at 9 P.M. on a Sunday). He told me that this year it should be easier for him to write his lesson plans as he has actual materials for each subject (although the verdict is still out on Science; we haven't seen any textbooks for that subject yet) and he won't have to create items or supplement items like he had to do all the time when he taught kindergarten. We haven't gotten to the point where he has written any lesson plans, so I'll have to see how it turns out. I am trying to be a better spouse by compromising with him though.
In other news that is not really related to growing up, I had my excision done yesterday at my dermatologist's office. I don't remember if I mentioned it before, but back in July I went in for a full body check and they removed four moles because they looked darker than the others. These moles were sent to a pathologist at a lab and it was found that one on the back of my right thigh had "abnormal cells" around it. I had to set up an appointment for an excision around the spot, which basically means that they took out a football shaped chunk out of the back of my right thigh and then had to stitch it up. Originally the doctor only wanted to put in the interior stitches that dissolve, but the spot is in such an awkward location (basically when I sit in a chair or in my car it hits that spot) that he wanted to put an extra row of exterior stitches in. He was concerned about it leaving a scar, but I told him that it was fine, it's on the back of my leg and no one is going to see it. The procedure took less than an hour, was relatively painless, and leaves me with the peace of mind that I could possibly have prevented skin cancer from developing in that spot in the future.
Other changes are coming too. In addition to Justin getting a job (as previously mentioned above, but not many specifics given) as a second grade permanent substitute I will be starting my first year as a school counselor also in a new building. I am in the same district, though. I am excited but a bit nervous as there is a lot to do and a lot to learn. I am looking forward to doing and learning new things though. Justin will be a permanent sub for five months but I have been assured by other people in his building that the teacher he is subbing for will not come back and will be out for the rest of the school year. This is good for him because it can possibly lead to a more permanent teaching position for next school year. I am so glad that things worked out for him and that he was able to find something good this late in the game (he just got hired a week ago)!
There are some other changes on the horizon that are coming up that I have mixed feelings about. I don't feel like going in to much detail about that right now, but we'll see how that all pans out.
I am happy to see that I am finally "growing up" and doing things that will strengthen my family life and my marriage. It feels good to be a grown-up.
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
Another instance of growing up this week has been putting the concept of compromise into action. My husband can be a horrible procrastinator at times. Especially when both of us are teaching. I could never understand how he wouldn't start on his lesson plans until 9:00 P.M. on Sunday (for the week that was starting the next day) and wouldn't finish for 2 or 3 hours because he did his plans while he was watching TV and was therefore probably a bit distracted. Of course since I am organized beyond all belief and somewhat anal when it comes to lesson planning, I would go in to work each Monday morning and write my lesson plans for the next week to come, therefore I was always a week ahead with my lesson plans (see where I am going here? Total opposites when it comes to some school things). Well, with being a counselor this year I am free from lesson planning, at least for the most part. I will still have to plan for when I do classroom guidance, but that's O.K. Justin is going to be a permanent substitute for second grade and it is his first time ever teaching second grade-he has taught kindergarten, third grade, and when he student taught he taught first grade-but never second. I used to get very frustrated when he would follow his procrastination pattern on Sunday nights, seeing as he had taught kindergarten for seven years I never understood how it took him so long to write his plans. I told him the other day that I would not nag him or whine to him when he does his lesson plans, since he is teaching a new grade in a new school district, but in exchange he has to write his lesson plans in a more timely fashion (e.g., not at 9 P.M. on a Sunday). He told me that this year it should be easier for him to write his lesson plans as he has actual materials for each subject (although the verdict is still out on Science; we haven't seen any textbooks for that subject yet) and he won't have to create items or supplement items like he had to do all the time when he taught kindergarten. We haven't gotten to the point where he has written any lesson plans, so I'll have to see how it turns out. I am trying to be a better spouse by compromising with him though.
In other news that is not really related to growing up, I had my excision done yesterday at my dermatologist's office. I don't remember if I mentioned it before, but back in July I went in for a full body check and they removed four moles because they looked darker than the others. These moles were sent to a pathologist at a lab and it was found that one on the back of my right thigh had "abnormal cells" around it. I had to set up an appointment for an excision around the spot, which basically means that they took out a football shaped chunk out of the back of my right thigh and then had to stitch it up. Originally the doctor only wanted to put in the interior stitches that dissolve, but the spot is in such an awkward location (basically when I sit in a chair or in my car it hits that spot) that he wanted to put an extra row of exterior stitches in. He was concerned about it leaving a scar, but I told him that it was fine, it's on the back of my leg and no one is going to see it. The procedure took less than an hour, was relatively painless, and leaves me with the peace of mind that I could possibly have prevented skin cancer from developing in that spot in the future.
Other changes are coming too. In addition to Justin getting a job (as previously mentioned above, but not many specifics given) as a second grade permanent substitute I will be starting my first year as a school counselor also in a new building. I am in the same district, though. I am excited but a bit nervous as there is a lot to do and a lot to learn. I am looking forward to doing and learning new things though. Justin will be a permanent sub for five months but I have been assured by other people in his building that the teacher he is subbing for will not come back and will be out for the rest of the school year. This is good for him because it can possibly lead to a more permanent teaching position for next school year. I am so glad that things worked out for him and that he was able to find something good this late in the game (he just got hired a week ago)!
There are some other changes on the horizon that are coming up that I have mixed feelings about. I don't feel like going in to much detail about that right now, but we'll see how that all pans out.
I am happy to see that I am finally "growing up" and doing things that will strengthen my family life and my marriage. It feels good to be a grown-up.
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
Monday, August 8, 2011
The One in Which I Try to Start Some Controversy
Earlier today I was catching up reading blogs on my iPhone and I came across the perfect one. It was written by Brooke, of By the Brooke, and it was able to get across an idea/belief/concept that I have never quite been able to get across. I couldn't say it any better than Brooke did, so if you are interested, you can read her blog entry here http://bythebrooke.blogspot.com/2011/08/in-which-i-get-annoying-philosophical.html
If you have ever said to someone in a time of strife, heartbreak or utter devestation, "Everything happens for a reason" then I think that you should read Brooke's post. If you believe in this concept or theory then it is even more strongly suggested that you read Brooke's post.
If you know me, you know that I love to stir the pot from time to time...if you do have a chance to read Brooke's post, let me know what you think of it. Also let me know if your belief/thought/subscription to this theory changed or not.
In case you were wondering, I do NOT subscribe to this belief or theory. First of all, I am not even sure if there is any God or any type of higher being. In my life there have just been too many things that have happened that are NOT explained by the "everything happens for a reason" belief/theory, at least not to my satisfaction. Maybe if you believe in this particular theory, you can explain why my father died at the ripe young age of 48 due to liver cancer when he had always been previously healthy. Maybe you can explain to me why my first husband had to go and screw around with other women and break my heart almost beyond repair. Maybe you can explain to me why it took 10 months and a (fortunately) successful round of Clomid for Justin and I to conceive McKenna. Perhaps you can even explain and justify to me why James just died this past July 31 at the ripe young age of 35 and couldn't unfortunately beat the alcoholism that had plagued him for so many years. Don't try to convince me that the "everything happens for a reason" belief/theory is correct, because this wise consumer isn't buying it. If you choose to believe in that, it is your decision, but don't try to twist and fit your beliefs into the terrible things that have happened in my life.
My Dad said at one point when he was being eaten alive by cancer, "These are the cards we've been dealt and yes, they suck. We have to work with the hand that we've been dealt." Yes Dad, that is so very true. There doesn't have to be a reason or justification for why things happen...sometimes they just do and it just sucks. I wish that people would just take things for what they are and not try to rationalize them with some bullshit theory.
If you have ever said to someone in a time of strife, heartbreak or utter devestation, "Everything happens for a reason" then I think that you should read Brooke's post. If you believe in this concept or theory then it is even more strongly suggested that you read Brooke's post.
If you know me, you know that I love to stir the pot from time to time...if you do have a chance to read Brooke's post, let me know what you think of it. Also let me know if your belief/thought/subscription to this theory changed or not.
In case you were wondering, I do NOT subscribe to this belief or theory. First of all, I am not even sure if there is any God or any type of higher being. In my life there have just been too many things that have happened that are NOT explained by the "everything happens for a reason" belief/theory, at least not to my satisfaction. Maybe if you believe in this particular theory, you can explain why my father died at the ripe young age of 48 due to liver cancer when he had always been previously healthy. Maybe you can explain to me why my first husband had to go and screw around with other women and break my heart almost beyond repair. Maybe you can explain to me why it took 10 months and a (fortunately) successful round of Clomid for Justin and I to conceive McKenna. Perhaps you can even explain and justify to me why James just died this past July 31 at the ripe young age of 35 and couldn't unfortunately beat the alcoholism that had plagued him for so many years. Don't try to convince me that the "everything happens for a reason" belief/theory is correct, because this wise consumer isn't buying it. If you choose to believe in that, it is your decision, but don't try to twist and fit your beliefs into the terrible things that have happened in my life.
My Dad said at one point when he was being eaten alive by cancer, "These are the cards we've been dealt and yes, they suck. We have to work with the hand that we've been dealt." Yes Dad, that is so very true. There doesn't have to be a reason or justification for why things happen...sometimes they just do and it just sucks. I wish that people would just take things for what they are and not try to rationalize them with some bullshit theory.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Cell Phone Etiquette from a Non-Expert
I would never claim to be an expert on any type of etiquette, but lately I have been thinking and I have been a witness to several different types of rude cell phone behaviors. Are you an offender? Read on and find out...
1. Do you read texts, e-mails, etc. and giggle out loud in front of other people? If you do this, hopefully you share with the other people what you found so funny. If you do read and giggle and don't share, it just makes you seem rude and immature. Keep the giggle in if it's something you find humorous and don't want to share with others.
2. When out at a restaurant with a friend, relative, co-worker, etc. do you immediately (maybe even before you have been seated) remove your cell phone from your purse or pocket and plunk it down on the table? This is extremely rude, as it gives your friend, relative, co-worker, etc. the impression that you are waiting for a text, call, e-mail, etc. that is more important than the company that is sitting right across from you. I feel sorry for you if you can't enjoy a meal with someone else for an hour or two without checking your phone. It is horribly inconsiderate. If both or all parties have their phones on the table then shame on everyone.
3. Do you check your cell during a movie in a dark movie theater? Once again, I feel sorry for you if you can't enjoy a movie (that you probably spent at least $9, if not more) for an hour and a half or two without checking your phone. We went and saw Harry Potter a couple of weeks ago and this guy right across the aisle from me kept checking his iPhone every 20 or 25 minutes. It was extremely rude and annoying. I wanted to walk across the aisle and punch him in the face. I don't give a crap if your favorite sports team is playing, the score will still be there and your team will have won or lost regardless of whether or not you check your phone every 20 minutes. Give it a rest.
These are the most annoying cell phone behaviors that I have noticed lately. Hopefully if you are reading this and can identify with any of the above behaviors you will stop and think the next time you are in a situation where these behaviors might manifest themselves again.
By the way, #2 can also be applied to people who check their watch frequently when you are out with them. I have been on that side of the fence, it made me feel like shit, and made me feel like this person had way more "important" things to do and other more "important" people to see. Please don't overbook yourself-if you don't have time to do something with someone or have somewhere else to be later on, then be honest with that person and choose another date.
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
1. Do you read texts, e-mails, etc. and giggle out loud in front of other people? If you do this, hopefully you share with the other people what you found so funny. If you do read and giggle and don't share, it just makes you seem rude and immature. Keep the giggle in if it's something you find humorous and don't want to share with others.
2. When out at a restaurant with a friend, relative, co-worker, etc. do you immediately (maybe even before you have been seated) remove your cell phone from your purse or pocket and plunk it down on the table? This is extremely rude, as it gives your friend, relative, co-worker, etc. the impression that you are waiting for a text, call, e-mail, etc. that is more important than the company that is sitting right across from you. I feel sorry for you if you can't enjoy a meal with someone else for an hour or two without checking your phone. It is horribly inconsiderate. If both or all parties have their phones on the table then shame on everyone.
3. Do you check your cell during a movie in a dark movie theater? Once again, I feel sorry for you if you can't enjoy a movie (that you probably spent at least $9, if not more) for an hour and a half or two without checking your phone. We went and saw Harry Potter a couple of weeks ago and this guy right across the aisle from me kept checking his iPhone every 20 or 25 minutes. It was extremely rude and annoying. I wanted to walk across the aisle and punch him in the face. I don't give a crap if your favorite sports team is playing, the score will still be there and your team will have won or lost regardless of whether or not you check your phone every 20 minutes. Give it a rest.
These are the most annoying cell phone behaviors that I have noticed lately. Hopefully if you are reading this and can identify with any of the above behaviors you will stop and think the next time you are in a situation where these behaviors might manifest themselves again.
By the way, #2 can also be applied to people who check their watch frequently when you are out with them. I have been on that side of the fence, it made me feel like shit, and made me feel like this person had way more "important" things to do and other more "important" people to see. Please don't overbook yourself-if you don't have time to do something with someone or have somewhere else to be later on, then be honest with that person and choose another date.
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Where Has All the Romance Gone?
This is a question that I've been thinking about a lot lately. Now I would by no means consider myself an expert on romance, seeing as I've only been married for a total of eight years (and that includes 6 years of being married to my ex and 2 years of being married to Justin). I have had a few long-term relationships in addition to my marriages, and the same thing always seems to happen...romance at first, then bang, pop, fizzle-not in a good way. I can remember when Justin and I first started dating, back in the summer of 2007. We would cook dinner for each other, bring each other flowers, give each other "just because" cards, go on fun dates, etc. Of course I realize that many, if not most, relationships begin just like this. We probably kept this going throughout the first year of our marriage, and then we started TTC. I of course wanted a honeymoon baby, so we definitely did our part when we were in Riveria Maya, Mexico! No baby that month. I had been charting for a few months at that point and started using OPKs as well, so I would say that this was probably the beginning of the breaking point of romance. When you are having issues TTC and have to plan out when you are going to have sex, it really takes the romance out of things. I am sure there are those of you out there saying to yourself, "Oh, you could have kept it fun, worn lingerie, used 'marital aids', etc." Hey, if you haven't had problems TTC (and yes I'm talking to those of you who conceived successfully after one or two cycles) don't judge. Once you have been TTC for 10 months the fun, spontaneity, and romance definitely flies out the window. I truly feel for people who deal with infertility and can't even imagine how possibly nonexistent the romance could be in that situation. Doing it became more of a chore rather than something that was to be enjoyed. If you've been in this situation you probably know all too well what I'm talking about. Fast forward to when I finally got pregnant (February 2010) and then things got better-we had lots of fun, did some spontaneous things like going down to Oglebay for a few days, and then along came McKenna in November. After having her I didn't feel much like doing anything but getting a good night's sleep. Once we got past the 6 week "don't you dare touch her" period (and yes, we did wait that entire time, I think it might have actually been 7 weeks) I didn't fear and dread doing the deed again. It was more along the lines of let's do this and get it over with I know it's not going to be the most comfortable thing in the world. Since baby made 3 not much has been going on. Sure, we have had a couple of nights where either my Mom or my sister has taken McKenna overnight and we have been able to be spontaneous and romantic again. It's difficult when we are at home though and she is napping or maybe we have put her to bed and Justin puts his hand on my leg and McKenna starts fussing or crying. I swear that child has a sensor on her and she knows when we want to get it on. When we are able to get down to the deed it just is lacking in romance. Do it, get it done before the baby wakes up, starts fussing, gets us out of whatever mood we may have been in. Granted, McKenna is only 7 and a half months old so she still has her moments (which results in us not having our moments, if you catch my drift). I have had friends who have older children assure me that things do get better. My friend that I was talking to the other night has a little boy who will turn 3 in September. I don't know how I will deal with this for another 2 years. I am sure it will get better, just as I am sure that we will have to start putting forth some more effort into "getting romantical" as Justin would say. We'll have to start doing those fun, spontaneous things again, such as buying flowers and greeting cards "just because". I may have to pull out the lingerie again, as much as I sometimes think it is a waste (it just comes off anyhow, right)? I am not a dummy, I know that any relationship takes work, especially a marriage where a child has recently been added to the mix. Hopefully we will eventually get back to that place where romance was something that we didn't have to really even think about or plan. I am looking forward to getting to that point again.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Why Does the Poop Cloud Always Follow Us Around?
This past Saturday we went over to my Mom's house to help her start cleaning out her garage and barn (she is getting re-married in September and will be putting her house up for sale). My husband was venting (as he has every right do) about his job or lack thereof for next year (in the eight years he has been teaching he has been RIFed 3 times, and yes, all for the same school district). 2 out of these 3 times he has been called back, and hopefully that will be the case for this next year as well. Supposedly he is the second person on the callback list, so if anyone in his area of licensure (K-3) retires, resigns, etc. he may be called back. He also made the comment that he is tired of seeing people who treat other people like crap get rewarded all the time. It does seem that way, as if people who do not respect others, bite the hand that feeds, etc. do get rewarded, with windfalls of good fortune (money, jobs, etc.). If you don't know my husband, he is a wonderful guy. He is the most caring, thoughtful person in the world. He would do anything for you (and he still does, even for people who treat him like shit, which I am always reprimanding him for). He loves the kids that he works with and would do anything to help the kids learn and he always has their best interest in mind. He is dedicated, both to his family and to work. He has made comments about how he has done everything "right" in his life and in the proper order (graduate high school, go to college, get a Bachelor's degree, get a Master's degree, get married, have a baby) and still continually gets kicked in the teeth.
I wonder the same thing. I don't understand how two hard working, dedicated, caring people seem to get the short end of the stick a lot of the time. Please don't give me any of the trite clichés about how "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" or "When one door closes another opens" or any of the other bullshit justifications. Why can't people just admit that life sucks sometimes instead of having to justify when shitty things happen to good people? Why do people who treat others like shit, take advantage of other people, and step on others to get what they want always seem to get whatever they want (and most of the time don't even deserve)?
When will the shitstorm that is our life end? Why does the poop cloud always follow us around? Will we ever get ahead of the game (or even be able to play on an even level)?
If you can tell me the answers to any of these questions without the trite sayings, I would greatly appreciate it.
Until next time I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
I wonder the same thing. I don't understand how two hard working, dedicated, caring people seem to get the short end of the stick a lot of the time. Please don't give me any of the trite clichés about how "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" or "When one door closes another opens" or any of the other bullshit justifications. Why can't people just admit that life sucks sometimes instead of having to justify when shitty things happen to good people? Why do people who treat others like shit, take advantage of other people, and step on others to get what they want always seem to get whatever they want (and most of the time don't even deserve)?
When will the shitstorm that is our life end? Why does the poop cloud always follow us around? Will we ever get ahead of the game (or even be able to play on an even level)?
If you can tell me the answers to any of these questions without the trite sayings, I would greatly appreciate it.
Until next time I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
The End of an Era (Oh, OK, a Decade)
The end of an era is almost upon us...well, the end of a decade. A decade of teaching French to high school students. An additional decade at the exact same place where I graduated from several years ago. A decade of definite highs and lows. There have been some years where I have had the most wonderful classes, and some years where I literally felt like beating my head against the wall EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.
It's hard to imagine what life will be like when I come back to work in August. Totally new building, totally new faces (both staff and students), totally new schedule. There are definitely lots of positives to the beginning of this new era. First, and most important, I finally get to put my $50,000 Master's degree to use, as well as my counselor license. My counselor license has been sitting collecting dust for the last 4 years (well, it did get quite a workout when I was applying for every counseling job within 50 miles of where I live and I had to make photocopies of it or scan it). I am very excited that I will no longer have to wake up at the ungodly hour of 4:50 A.M. and have to be showered, dressed, and ready to leave my house by 6 A.M. so that I can beat all of the drop off traffic at work. I am greatly looking forward to learning how to do something new and making my mind work in new and different ways.
There are several negatives that come along with this end of the current era (decade). I will be leaving the only place that I have ever truly worked as a professional, since I got hired here in December 2000 right after I finished my student teaching. I have grown very accustomed to having my own classroom (I have actually been in 3 different classrooms in the 10+ years I have been teaching here, having been in my current classroom for the past 6 of those years). I will have to fit all of my "stuff" into an office versus a roomy classroom. I will truly miss the staff where I currently work. Several of these people are like family to me, and I will really miss talking/socializing/commiserating with them. I will also miss the relationships that I have built with my students and their parents. Through the years I have had many siblings/relatives of different families and I feel that I have strong rapport with them.
As we all know, change is an inevitable part of life. I am ready for this next change, but it is a touch bittersweet. As I am counting down the days (8 not including the rest of today, and only 3 of those are actual "school days" without exams) I find myself happy to be wrapping up this era of teaching but a bit sad at the same time. Perhaps one day I will make a return to the classroom (I plan on keeping my French license up to date, as it is more expensive to let it lapse, and as we all know, it is good to have a backup plan) but for now I am looking forward to starting this new era of my career as an elementary school counselor.
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
It's hard to imagine what life will be like when I come back to work in August. Totally new building, totally new faces (both staff and students), totally new schedule. There are definitely lots of positives to the beginning of this new era. First, and most important, I finally get to put my $50,000 Master's degree to use, as well as my counselor license. My counselor license has been sitting collecting dust for the last 4 years (well, it did get quite a workout when I was applying for every counseling job within 50 miles of where I live and I had to make photocopies of it or scan it). I am very excited that I will no longer have to wake up at the ungodly hour of 4:50 A.M. and have to be showered, dressed, and ready to leave my house by 6 A.M. so that I can beat all of the drop off traffic at work. I am greatly looking forward to learning how to do something new and making my mind work in new and different ways.
There are several negatives that come along with this end of the current era (decade). I will be leaving the only place that I have ever truly worked as a professional, since I got hired here in December 2000 right after I finished my student teaching. I have grown very accustomed to having my own classroom (I have actually been in 3 different classrooms in the 10+ years I have been teaching here, having been in my current classroom for the past 6 of those years). I will have to fit all of my "stuff" into an office versus a roomy classroom. I will truly miss the staff where I currently work. Several of these people are like family to me, and I will really miss talking/socializing/commiserating with them. I will also miss the relationships that I have built with my students and their parents. Through the years I have had many siblings/relatives of different families and I feel that I have strong rapport with them.
As we all know, change is an inevitable part of life. I am ready for this next change, but it is a touch bittersweet. As I am counting down the days (8 not including the rest of today, and only 3 of those are actual "school days" without exams) I find myself happy to be wrapping up this era of teaching but a bit sad at the same time. Perhaps one day I will make a return to the classroom (I plan on keeping my French license up to date, as it is more expensive to let it lapse, and as we all know, it is good to have a backup plan) but for now I am looking forward to starting this new era of my career as an elementary school counselor.
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
Monday, May 23, 2011
The Light and the Heat
"Oh, I see the light and the heat."
-Peter Gabriel, "In Your Eyes"
With the above song quote, I am not making reference to Lloyd Dobler holding a boom box over his head outside of Diane Court's house (although "Say Anything" is one of my favorite movies ever, but I digress). I am talking about the light and the heat in the lovely main bathroom of our house. Granted, we don't live in a huge house by any means of the imagination (I wouldn't consider a 1900 square foot ranch with a full basement huge) so it makes sense that our main bathroom isn't that huge either. If I had to guesstimate, I would say that our main bathroom is maybe 10 feet by 12 feet (if not smaller). When you look in from the hallway, on your immediate left is the vanity with sink, large mirror, and light fixture, which holds 4-60 watt bulbs. On your right is a very teeny tiny laundry chute (behind the bathroom door) and right after that the bathtub/shower. That's it. No room for anything else.
I am a person who takes her shower in the morning. I absolutely hate going to bed with wet hair and even if I do shower before bed, I still wake up feeling "dirty" and have to shower in the morning anyhow. For as long as I can remember, I have always had these "hot flashes" (although I am way too young to be going through "the change") where I wake up in the middle of the night, bathed in sweat, roasting. I throw the covers off and fall back asleep, only to wake up again a short time later, freezing. When I was pregnant with McKenna last year I was miserable with these "hot flashes" and even though McKenna is now 6 months old, I still get them. Maybe it's a hormonal thing, even though it's not "the change."
Anyhow, back to me showering in the morning. Other than making me feel clean, it helps wake me up and start my day. I don't like hot showers. I prefer them on the cooler side. I don't take hot showers, I run the exhaust fan in the bathroom (I keep the door closed when I am showering because the main bathroom is right across the hall from McKenna's bedroom and she is still sleeping when I am up at the crazy hour of 4:50 A.M.) and the bathroom looks like I have stepped into hell itself when I have finished showering. The mirror is so steamed up that I can't see my reflection at all. Not necessarily a bad thing when I have just gotten out of the shower and still have a lovely postpartum body. I dry myself off and immediately feel beads of sweat forming on my upper lip and forehead because it is so damn hot in there. Once I have dried off I turn off the exhaust fan and open the door (the light must not bother McKenna) and finish getting ready (body lotion, makeup, comb out hair). At this point the only thing I am wearing is my underwear because I am still roasting, even with the bathroom door wide open. As I take cool showers, what is the culprit for all of this heat? Is it our light fixture with its 240 watts of power? Is it that our exhaust fan doesn't work properly? Is it a combination of the lights, the exhaust fan not working, and the door being shut? I wish I knew so that I could stop dealing with the light and the heat. I hate showering and then feeling like I didn't shower just 5 minutes after said shower because I am so hot and sticky.
Any suggestions on how to deal with the light and the heat? I do my hair (blow dry, flatiron) in the small half bath off our bedroom and don't have the light and the heat issue in there. Please let me know if you have any tips or tricks to help prevent this.
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
Sorry, I did forget to mention that our main bathroom also has a toilet (left hand side of bathroom if you are looking in from the hallway, right next to the vanity. DUH.
-Peter Gabriel, "In Your Eyes"
With the above song quote, I am not making reference to Lloyd Dobler holding a boom box over his head outside of Diane Court's house (although "Say Anything" is one of my favorite movies ever, but I digress). I am talking about the light and the heat in the lovely main bathroom of our house. Granted, we don't live in a huge house by any means of the imagination (I wouldn't consider a 1900 square foot ranch with a full basement huge) so it makes sense that our main bathroom isn't that huge either. If I had to guesstimate, I would say that our main bathroom is maybe 10 feet by 12 feet (if not smaller). When you look in from the hallway, on your immediate left is the vanity with sink, large mirror, and light fixture, which holds 4-60 watt bulbs. On your right is a very teeny tiny laundry chute (behind the bathroom door) and right after that the bathtub/shower. That's it. No room for anything else.
I am a person who takes her shower in the morning. I absolutely hate going to bed with wet hair and even if I do shower before bed, I still wake up feeling "dirty" and have to shower in the morning anyhow. For as long as I can remember, I have always had these "hot flashes" (although I am way too young to be going through "the change") where I wake up in the middle of the night, bathed in sweat, roasting. I throw the covers off and fall back asleep, only to wake up again a short time later, freezing. When I was pregnant with McKenna last year I was miserable with these "hot flashes" and even though McKenna is now 6 months old, I still get them. Maybe it's a hormonal thing, even though it's not "the change."
Anyhow, back to me showering in the morning. Other than making me feel clean, it helps wake me up and start my day. I don't like hot showers. I prefer them on the cooler side. I don't take hot showers, I run the exhaust fan in the bathroom (I keep the door closed when I am showering because the main bathroom is right across the hall from McKenna's bedroom and she is still sleeping when I am up at the crazy hour of 4:50 A.M.) and the bathroom looks like I have stepped into hell itself when I have finished showering. The mirror is so steamed up that I can't see my reflection at all. Not necessarily a bad thing when I have just gotten out of the shower and still have a lovely postpartum body. I dry myself off and immediately feel beads of sweat forming on my upper lip and forehead because it is so damn hot in there. Once I have dried off I turn off the exhaust fan and open the door (the light must not bother McKenna) and finish getting ready (body lotion, makeup, comb out hair). At this point the only thing I am wearing is my underwear because I am still roasting, even with the bathroom door wide open. As I take cool showers, what is the culprit for all of this heat? Is it our light fixture with its 240 watts of power? Is it that our exhaust fan doesn't work properly? Is it a combination of the lights, the exhaust fan not working, and the door being shut? I wish I knew so that I could stop dealing with the light and the heat. I hate showering and then feeling like I didn't shower just 5 minutes after said shower because I am so hot and sticky.
Any suggestions on how to deal with the light and the heat? I do my hair (blow dry, flatiron) in the small half bath off our bedroom and don't have the light and the heat issue in there. Please let me know if you have any tips or tricks to help prevent this.
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
Sorry, I did forget to mention that our main bathroom also has a toilet (left hand side of bathroom if you are looking in from the hallway, right next to the vanity. DUH.
Monday, May 16, 2011
This is One Club You Don't Want to Join
The club that I am referring to is the DP Club. No, it doesn't refer to displaced people. I am talking about the dead parent club. The reason that this has come to my attention is that Mother's Day has recently occurred, and Father's Day will be taking place in less than a month now. I know several (actually, way too many, in my opinion) that belong to the DP Club. Most people that I know in this club have lost only one parent, but there are a few that unfortunately have lost both parents. Included in this club are my Mom (my Grandfather on my Mom's side has been gone since I was 5 or 6), my Aunt and Uncle on my Mom's side, and all of my Dad's brothers and sisters who are still living (my Grandfather on my Dad's side passed away in 2004), some of my cousins on my Dad's side, my husband (his Mom died from lymphoma in 2001), my brother and sister-in-law on my husband's side, etc. The list goes on and on. Of course my sister and I are also members of the DP Club, having lost our Dad to liver cancer in December of 2007.
My sister and I and our families went out to lunch with our Mom for Mother's Day just this past year. On the way home I asked my husband how he was feeling, if he was doing OK. He told me that he was sad and that you just can't help but feel that way when everyone and their mother (sorry, bad pun here) is posting about Mother's Day on Facebook and that everyone is out celebrating their mothers.
I find that I feel the same way regarding the impending approach of Father's Day. I am sure that people will go all gung-ho crazy posting on Facebook just as they did for Mother's Day. I am sure that people will be taking their Dads out to lunch or dinner or doing other fun things with their Dads to celebrate. When I think of the approach of Father's Day it makes me sad that I cannot participate in that particular occasion to celebrate my Dad, since he is gone.
I guess that my point here is that you should keep in mind that while you may be fortunate enough to not be a member of the DP Club, some of your relatives/friends/neighbors may be members of the club and may not want to be reminded 235 times on Facebook that it is Mother's or Father's Day. You may talk to people who are members of the DP Club about your plans for the day, but don't brag or exaggerate what you plan to do on that particular day. Also, you may want to keep in mind that some of us who are members of the DP Club don't want to hear your constant complaining about what horrible thing your mother or father did to you and/or what a horrible person your mother or father may be. At least you still have them here on this Earth. Some of us would give anything to have our mother or father (or both) back here. All I'm saying is be respectful, have some empathy and some sympathy. You may not know someone's whole story, and that person may be a member of the DP Club.
My sister and I and our families went out to lunch with our Mom for Mother's Day just this past year. On the way home I asked my husband how he was feeling, if he was doing OK. He told me that he was sad and that you just can't help but feel that way when everyone and their mother (sorry, bad pun here) is posting about Mother's Day on Facebook and that everyone is out celebrating their mothers.
I find that I feel the same way regarding the impending approach of Father's Day. I am sure that people will go all gung-ho crazy posting on Facebook just as they did for Mother's Day. I am sure that people will be taking their Dads out to lunch or dinner or doing other fun things with their Dads to celebrate. When I think of the approach of Father's Day it makes me sad that I cannot participate in that particular occasion to celebrate my Dad, since he is gone.
I guess that my point here is that you should keep in mind that while you may be fortunate enough to not be a member of the DP Club, some of your relatives/friends/neighbors may be members of the club and may not want to be reminded 235 times on Facebook that it is Mother's or Father's Day. You may talk to people who are members of the DP Club about your plans for the day, but don't brag or exaggerate what you plan to do on that particular day. Also, you may want to keep in mind that some of us who are members of the DP Club don't want to hear your constant complaining about what horrible thing your mother or father did to you and/or what a horrible person your mother or father may be. At least you still have them here on this Earth. Some of us would give anything to have our mother or father (or both) back here. All I'm saying is be respectful, have some empathy and some sympathy. You may not know someone's whole story, and that person may be a member of the DP Club.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Let's Have a Little Respect Here, People
So...one of the lovely duties that we have as teachers is receiving and responding to parent e-mails. The majority of e-mails from parents that I get are polite, asking where and when their child can get extra help, what he/she should be doing to help improve their grade, etc. Every now and again though, we get those lovely e-mails where you can tell that Bobby or Sally went home, maybe even broke down into tears, and told Mom and/or Dad how Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. so-and-so was oh so cruel, wanted them to do something that said student didn't want to do, etc. I have been the recipient of 2 such e-mails this week alone, from totally different parents of students in totally different classes. I can tell you for a fact that both of these e-mails were written in the heat of the moment, parents frustrated because their kids were melting down and that I had either done or said something that was construed as "unfair" or "unjust" to these students. In both situations I e-mailed each parent back, apologized for the misunderstandings, and said that we would work it out. I know if I had been in this situation as a parent, I would feel like a real jackass when I got that nice, polite e-mail back from my child's teacher. I would think that I had WAY overreacted. So here are some tips for you parents that may fly off the handle from time to time and a more acceptable way of dealing with your child's teacher:
1. Check your facts. Before you go all batshit crazy on your child's teacher, call or e-mail said teacher and go off on their ass, cross-check what little Bobby or Sally told you happened. Not that little Bobby or Sally would ever twist, exaggerate, or misconstrue what another adult said to them...just saying. I would hope that as a parent you would take the word of a professional adult into consideration. Pull your heads out of the sand...kids lie from time to time, or exaggerate, or misconstrue situations.
2. Have your child fight his/her own battles (where appropriate). Now remember that this blog is coming from the perspective of a high school teacher, where students should be able to talk with their teachers about certain issues (performance in class, study skills, etc.). If there are larger issues going on, then as a parent, you should definitely intervene. If it is something that can be handled by your child, let them try and reason and talk it out with said teacher. If the child talks to the teacher and this does not have the desired effect, once again parental involvement is appropriate.
3. When you do call or e-mail your child's teacher, make sure that the call or e-mail is polite. If you call us (as teachers) nasty names, tell us what horrible people/teachers we are, etc. we probably aren't going to be too overly impressed with your call or e-mail. We will still be polite when replying to you and will talk with your child about your/our concerns. Just remember, you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.
4. Of course we are concerned about your child's welfare and school performance. That is what we are here for. Please don't make us the enemy. All you have to do is contact us, be polite, and we will help you try and figure out your issue(s) with your child. That is what teachers do. We don't just teach course material, we are there to be advocates, counselors, nurses, etc. We have chosen this profession because we care about children. We want what is best for them.
REMEMBER...these are just some small suggestions that may help you from getting pissed off at your child's teacher(s) and may help keep the peace between you as a parent and said teacher(s). Feel free to disagree with me and to keep solving all of Bobby and Sally's issues though. I am sure that they will grow up to be very productive, independent adults who can solve all of their problems on their own. (Note heavy sarcasm here).
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
1. Check your facts. Before you go all batshit crazy on your child's teacher, call or e-mail said teacher and go off on their ass, cross-check what little Bobby or Sally told you happened. Not that little Bobby or Sally would ever twist, exaggerate, or misconstrue what another adult said to them...just saying. I would hope that as a parent you would take the word of a professional adult into consideration. Pull your heads out of the sand...kids lie from time to time, or exaggerate, or misconstrue situations.
2. Have your child fight his/her own battles (where appropriate). Now remember that this blog is coming from the perspective of a high school teacher, where students should be able to talk with their teachers about certain issues (performance in class, study skills, etc.). If there are larger issues going on, then as a parent, you should definitely intervene. If it is something that can be handled by your child, let them try and reason and talk it out with said teacher. If the child talks to the teacher and this does not have the desired effect, once again parental involvement is appropriate.
3. When you do call or e-mail your child's teacher, make sure that the call or e-mail is polite. If you call us (as teachers) nasty names, tell us what horrible people/teachers we are, etc. we probably aren't going to be too overly impressed with your call or e-mail. We will still be polite when replying to you and will talk with your child about your/our concerns. Just remember, you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.
4. Of course we are concerned about your child's welfare and school performance. That is what we are here for. Please don't make us the enemy. All you have to do is contact us, be polite, and we will help you try and figure out your issue(s) with your child. That is what teachers do. We don't just teach course material, we are there to be advocates, counselors, nurses, etc. We have chosen this profession because we care about children. We want what is best for them.
REMEMBER...these are just some small suggestions that may help you from getting pissed off at your child's teacher(s) and may help keep the peace between you as a parent and said teacher(s). Feel free to disagree with me and to keep solving all of Bobby and Sally's issues though. I am sure that they will grow up to be very productive, independent adults who can solve all of their problems on their own. (Note heavy sarcasm here).
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
Monday, May 9, 2011
Once Upon a Time, I had a Waistline
Ah, those lovely last few pregnancy pounds that just won't go away. I've still got about 12 to go before I reach my pre-pregnancy weight, and being totally honest here, I could still stand to lose quite a bit more. I've always had a rather short waist, not much room between the bottom of my ribcage and the top of my hipbones. I used to have a waistline though, not just a straight line torso with curves in all the wrong places now.
Several years ago (probably 2004 I would guess) I did a "Dump Your Plump" challenge with my Mom, my Aunt, my cousin's now ex-wife, and a few other people. At that time I definitely needed to lose weight, as I was overeating, not exercising enough, and was unhappy with the way I looked. My now ex-husband could have told me that I needed to lose weight until he was blue in the face (believe me, he pretty much did) but I had to make the decision myself FOR myself that it was time to lose weight. My Mom, Aunt, and cousin's wife would e-mail each other every day about what we ate and what type of exercise we did. I worked out at least once a day 5 or 6 days a week, usually some type of low-impact aerobics or a nice, long, brisk walk with the dog. I eventually kicked my pop drinking habit, weaning myself down to carbonated flavored water, to just flat flavored water, to water. I managed to only consume about 1200 calories a day, being pretty strict with myself about what I ate. I learned the calorie contents of many foods and beverages quickly. I wouldn't say that I was obsessed with losing weight, because I was in no way unhealthy about it, but I did follow quite the regimen for awhile. After the end of the program (I can't remember how long we did it exactly; it was either 6 months or a year) I had managed to lose 50 pounds. I looked good, I felt great. Even at my lowest weight, it still wasn't good enough for my ex-husband. I remember I was so excited that I fit into size 8 clothing and I even had a couple of size 6 items. I told my ex this and he said, "Keep working at it, you can get down to a size 4." Asshole. Nothing was ever good enough for him, now I know why his Mom nicknamed him "One More." If you know me and know my body build there is no chance that I would ever drop down to a size 4. At my lowest weight ever I was 151.
Now I find myself unhappy with my body and my weight. Granted, I did just have a baby 5 and a half months ago. I put on 40 pounds by the end of my pregnancy, most of which was gained in the last 4-6 weeks. I am happy that I have lost 28 of those 40 pounds. I had McKenna in perhaps one of the crappiest winters ever in Northeast Ohio, so we didn't get out too much. We have also had one of the rainiest Aprils on record as well. Needless to say we haven't had the time to go out and walk much, which I would love to do. Add to that teaching full time, working a part-time job at a country club golf course, trying to keep up with laundry and other chores, and spend time with McKenna and Justin. There just aren't that many hours in a day. Unfortunately, the excess weight is falling by the wayside for the time being. Maybe over the summer I will have some extra time so that I can exercise more. Eat better as well. Cook more at home and not eat takeout so much (or eat at restaurants). I also find myself not caring about the weight as much since we are still planning on having at least one more baby...not anytime in the immediate future, but sometime in the next couple of years. I figure that I'm just going to put weight on again when I am pregnant so who cares?
Oh well, maybe all this is justification for me being fat and lazy. If that is the case, then screw you waistline.
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
Several years ago (probably 2004 I would guess) I did a "Dump Your Plump" challenge with my Mom, my Aunt, my cousin's now ex-wife, and a few other people. At that time I definitely needed to lose weight, as I was overeating, not exercising enough, and was unhappy with the way I looked. My now ex-husband could have told me that I needed to lose weight until he was blue in the face (believe me, he pretty much did) but I had to make the decision myself FOR myself that it was time to lose weight. My Mom, Aunt, and cousin's wife would e-mail each other every day about what we ate and what type of exercise we did. I worked out at least once a day 5 or 6 days a week, usually some type of low-impact aerobics or a nice, long, brisk walk with the dog. I eventually kicked my pop drinking habit, weaning myself down to carbonated flavored water, to just flat flavored water, to water. I managed to only consume about 1200 calories a day, being pretty strict with myself about what I ate. I learned the calorie contents of many foods and beverages quickly. I wouldn't say that I was obsessed with losing weight, because I was in no way unhealthy about it, but I did follow quite the regimen for awhile. After the end of the program (I can't remember how long we did it exactly; it was either 6 months or a year) I had managed to lose 50 pounds. I looked good, I felt great. Even at my lowest weight, it still wasn't good enough for my ex-husband. I remember I was so excited that I fit into size 8 clothing and I even had a couple of size 6 items. I told my ex this and he said, "Keep working at it, you can get down to a size 4." Asshole. Nothing was ever good enough for him, now I know why his Mom nicknamed him "One More." If you know me and know my body build there is no chance that I would ever drop down to a size 4. At my lowest weight ever I was 151.
Now I find myself unhappy with my body and my weight. Granted, I did just have a baby 5 and a half months ago. I put on 40 pounds by the end of my pregnancy, most of which was gained in the last 4-6 weeks. I am happy that I have lost 28 of those 40 pounds. I had McKenna in perhaps one of the crappiest winters ever in Northeast Ohio, so we didn't get out too much. We have also had one of the rainiest Aprils on record as well. Needless to say we haven't had the time to go out and walk much, which I would love to do. Add to that teaching full time, working a part-time job at a country club golf course, trying to keep up with laundry and other chores, and spend time with McKenna and Justin. There just aren't that many hours in a day. Unfortunately, the excess weight is falling by the wayside for the time being. Maybe over the summer I will have some extra time so that I can exercise more. Eat better as well. Cook more at home and not eat takeout so much (or eat at restaurants). I also find myself not caring about the weight as much since we are still planning on having at least one more baby...not anytime in the immediate future, but sometime in the next couple of years. I figure that I'm just going to put weight on again when I am pregnant so who cares?
Oh well, maybe all this is justification for me being fat and lazy. If that is the case, then screw you waistline.
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Into the Ocean
"Now floating up and down I spin colliding into sound
like whales beneath me diving down
I’m sinking to the bottom of my
everything that freaks me out
the lighthouse gleam has just run out
I'm cold as cold as cold... can be.. be
I wanna swim away but don’t know how
sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean"
-Blue October, "Into the Ocean"
I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately. Work has been quite hectic. In addition to preparing lessons for my students and keeping up with all the grading, photocopying, etc. I have also been trying to clean out my files, desk drawers and bookshelves so that I can actually be out of here on June 10 when I should be. I have also been instructed by my department chair that I have to put everything I use (worksheets, tests, quizzes, class notes, etc.) into binders for each level of French for the person who will be my replacement next school year. I already had the French II binder done as I did it last school year since I am not teaching that particular class this year, but I still had to do the French I and III binders. Ironically the French teacher who will be replacing me is coming up from the middle school and has more than twice as much teaching experience as I do but I still have to do all this prep work for her...oh, and let's not forget that we also have to photocopy all tests, quizzes, assignments, etc. that she will need for the first month of school as well. Nobody did that for me when I started teaching 10+ years ago.
I also started working at the golf shop again on April 10. So far it has been mostly weekends but tonight I have to go in from after school to 7 P.M. Makes for a really long day when you've been up since 3:15 A.M. (damn wind). It's also hard because then I don't get to spend much time with McKenna and Justin since I like to try and get to bed between 9 and 9:30 on school nights. I really enjoy my job at the golf shop and the extra money is really nice (and is now a necessity) but sometimes I wish I could just teach and that would be it.
Justin got a RIF letter a week ago, so for those of you not up on your education lingo, RIF is reduction in force. Basically he will not have a teaching position next year in his current school district because of financial trouble in the school district. That puts even more pressure on me, as I could potentially be our main (or possibly only) source of income after August. Scary. I am barely keeping my head above water with the bills we have now so if we are down to one income things will get really ugly then. As far as I know he hasn't filled out any online applications yet for other school districts. I wish that he would stop procrastinating and get on the computer and fill out the apps! It's not that hard to do and then at least he'll be getting his name out there. I really think that he believes the situation will work out in his favor (this same exact thing happened last year, and he did end up being called back because enough people retired and he was high enough on the RIF list so he got his job back). Not so sure that the same will happen this year or not.
Also, I need to start going to training sessions for my new position as a school counselor next year so that is just another thing to add to this stress. Oh, and don't forget that I have an online class that begins May 10 and runs through August as well...
You wonder why I feel like I'm drowning sometimes. This would be it.
like whales beneath me diving down
I’m sinking to the bottom of my
everything that freaks me out
the lighthouse gleam has just run out
I'm cold as cold as cold... can be.. be
I wanna swim away but don’t know how
sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean"
-Blue October, "Into the Ocean"
I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately. Work has been quite hectic. In addition to preparing lessons for my students and keeping up with all the grading, photocopying, etc. I have also been trying to clean out my files, desk drawers and bookshelves so that I can actually be out of here on June 10 when I should be. I have also been instructed by my department chair that I have to put everything I use (worksheets, tests, quizzes, class notes, etc.) into binders for each level of French for the person who will be my replacement next school year. I already had the French II binder done as I did it last school year since I am not teaching that particular class this year, but I still had to do the French I and III binders. Ironically the French teacher who will be replacing me is coming up from the middle school and has more than twice as much teaching experience as I do but I still have to do all this prep work for her...oh, and let's not forget that we also have to photocopy all tests, quizzes, assignments, etc. that she will need for the first month of school as well. Nobody did that for me when I started teaching 10+ years ago.
I also started working at the golf shop again on April 10. So far it has been mostly weekends but tonight I have to go in from after school to 7 P.M. Makes for a really long day when you've been up since 3:15 A.M. (damn wind). It's also hard because then I don't get to spend much time with McKenna and Justin since I like to try and get to bed between 9 and 9:30 on school nights. I really enjoy my job at the golf shop and the extra money is really nice (and is now a necessity) but sometimes I wish I could just teach and that would be it.
Justin got a RIF letter a week ago, so for those of you not up on your education lingo, RIF is reduction in force. Basically he will not have a teaching position next year in his current school district because of financial trouble in the school district. That puts even more pressure on me, as I could potentially be our main (or possibly only) source of income after August. Scary. I am barely keeping my head above water with the bills we have now so if we are down to one income things will get really ugly then. As far as I know he hasn't filled out any online applications yet for other school districts. I wish that he would stop procrastinating and get on the computer and fill out the apps! It's not that hard to do and then at least he'll be getting his name out there. I really think that he believes the situation will work out in his favor (this same exact thing happened last year, and he did end up being called back because enough people retired and he was high enough on the RIF list so he got his job back). Not so sure that the same will happen this year or not.
Also, I need to start going to training sessions for my new position as a school counselor next year so that is just another thing to add to this stress. Oh, and don't forget that I have an online class that begins May 10 and runs through August as well...
You wonder why I feel like I'm drowning sometimes. This would be it.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
ABC Me
ABC Me
I saw this on another blog that I read, so I thought it might be fun to fill it out.
B. Bed size: Queen. Sometimes I wish that we had a king size bed.
C. Chore you detest: Hmm...it's a toss-up between dusting and vacuuming. I hate dusting because it's futile, things just get dusty again. I just hate vacuuming in general.
D. Dog person or cat person: Definitely dog person. Big dogs only. Little yappers need not apply.
E. Essential start to your day: Showering. I cannot shower before I go to bed. I feel "dirty" if I don't shower in the morning. It wakes me up in addition to helping me feel so fresh and so clean, clean!
F. Favorite color: I like orange. It's bright and cheerful.
G. Gold or silver: White gold.
H. Height: 5' 3"
I. Instruments you play(ed): Clarinet and tenor saxophone. I played the clarinet in 5th grade band and moved up to the tenor sax in 6th grade. I played that all through my senior year of high school.
J. Job title: Currently high school French teacher. I will be an elementary school counselor at a K-4 building in the same school district this coming fall though (yay)!
K. Kids: McKenna. Love that baby girl. She is my heart. Just thinking of her gummy little smile makes me smile.
L. Live: Northeast Ohio.
M. Mom’s name: Barb.
N. Nicknames: Jen, Jenny, Madame (from kids at school).
O. Overnight hospital stays: Only when I had McKenna-I was in the hospital for two nights. I was a bit stir crazy and really wanted to go home by the second day I was there.
P. Pet peeves: People who lie. People who cheat. People who drive really slowly in the fast lane. People who don't use their turn signals (hmm...I think I wrote an entire post at some point on all of my driving pet peeves).
Q. Quote from a movie: "When life gives you lemons, just say fuck the lemons and bail." Chuck "Koonu"--Forgetting Sarah Marshall
R. Righty or lefty: Proud righty. My husband is a lefty so I tease him all the time.
S. Siblings: Just one sister, Tina. She is younger than I am.
T. Time you wake: On work days: 4:50 A.M. Believe me, I know that it is an ungodly hour to get up. On the weekends-usually when McKenna gets up, 7:30 or 8:00.
U. Underwear: Any comfy hipster/bikini cotton ones. I really like these now after having been pregnant.
V. Vegetables you don’t like: Tomatoes (although technically those are a fruit, aren't they)? I also don't like cucumbers as they have no flavor to them.
W. What makes you run late: Taking too long in the shower. Also sometimes having to go to the bathroom right as I'm ready to walk out the door to head to work.
X. X-rays you’ve had: When I was in 5th or 6th grade I sprained one of my fingers and we thought it might be broken. Teeth x-rays at the dentist. The only other one I can think of is when I had an HSG in December of 2009.
Y. Yummy food you make: Chocolate decadence. Stir-fried asparagus. Homemade Caesar salad dressing.
Z. Zoo animal favorites: The giraffes of course! Also the lemurs. ;)
If the A shows up at the end I'm not sure why. When I look at the preview that's how it's showing up but not how it shows up when I'm typing it. Oh well, I'm over it.
A. Age: 33. Turning 30 didn't bother me at all since 29 was such a shitty year. Now that I'm heading toward 35 it is starting to bother me a bit.Tuesday, April 12, 2011
What Makes Me Question Everything
I have been reading several blogs recently, and some of them deal with infant/child loss. Some of the babies in these blogs were stillborn and others died at various points after birth. Some of these same people have also experienced a miscarriage or miscarriages. As I read these blogs, I can literally feel the pain seeping through some of the words that people have typed. Sometimes as I read these blogs it just makes me want to cry.
After my Dad died of liver cancer in December 2007 at the age of 48, there were several people who told me, "He's in a better place." Or, "He's no longer in pain. God had bigger plans for him." I have always questioned faith and religion, having grown up in a family where I felt that Catholicism was pushed on me. I remember moving from Peninsula to Northfield when I was about 8 years old and my parents went to become members of the local Catholic church. When they went there they were told that since they had been married at a local city hall that they had to be "re-married" in the church. Even though I was only the tender age that I was I realized even then that it was a crock of shit. My parents always justified raising me Catholic by saying, "Well, maybe someday you'll want to get married in the Catholic church." Ha. I told them even when my age wasn't yet in the double digits that that particular occurrence would never happen. For my first marriage, I was married in a church, but it was nondenominational and my then husband's family had close ties with the church. For my second marriage, we were married by a fifth-grade teacher who also has a license to marry people and we got married outside in someone's garden/yard (love ya J.B.)! So, no Catholic weddings for me. And no, we do not plan on baptizing our daughter or raising her with religion in her life. When she gets old enough and can make her own decision about religion and faith, she can explore those options if she would like.
I digress from my original intent here, though. After going through a painful divorce and the death of my very young father, I questioned faith and religion even more. I believe that I live my life as a good person. I help people out (jeez, I am a teacher and counselor after all), I fund raise for The American Cancer Society/Relay for Life, donate clothing, food, etc. to those in need. Of course these things are not all-encompassing and don't paint a total picture of me. Those are just some of the things I do that I would say make me a decent/good person. Now, when I read these blogs where babies aspirate, go brain-dead and die a couple of days shy of their 2 month "birthday", or when a baby is fine until 37 or 38 weeks and then when the mother goes in to deliver the baby he or she has no heartbeat, that just sickens me and makes me fearful. What kind of greater good/power/deity/god would allow these things to happen to innocent babies and children? I absolutely hate when people use the justifications that I listed above, such as, "Oh, they are in a better place," "God couldn't wait to have a new angel," etc. A lot of the time horrible things happen to good people that have lived their lives correctly and honestly. Can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me that there is a valid reason that my Dad died at age 48, and before he was diagnosed with the primary liver cancer that would eventually spread and end his life, was perfectly healthy? Is there a valid reason that baby Adam (who was born exactly a week before McKenna) got sick, aspirated one night, went brain dead, and died two days later? I challenge you to convince me that there is some higher power out there and that there are valid, meaningful reasons why things like this happen in life. I guarantee that you can't come up with something. Don't preach to me about god and faith and religion, because I don't believe. I think my Dad said it best: "In life you're dealt a hand of cards, and you have to play the hand you've got the best way you can." If there was a god/higher power, etc. would all these terrible things happen to good people? I know you believers will always try to find some way to back it up, e.g. "God is testing us" but I don't buy it.
The older I get, the more I seem to question everything. I wish I knew why bad things happen to good people. I wish that I could stop worrying that something will happen to Justin or McKenna. Call me negative and a non-believer, but you can never say that I'm not honest.
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
After my Dad died of liver cancer in December 2007 at the age of 48, there were several people who told me, "He's in a better place." Or, "He's no longer in pain. God had bigger plans for him." I have always questioned faith and religion, having grown up in a family where I felt that Catholicism was pushed on me. I remember moving from Peninsula to Northfield when I was about 8 years old and my parents went to become members of the local Catholic church. When they went there they were told that since they had been married at a local city hall that they had to be "re-married" in the church. Even though I was only the tender age that I was I realized even then that it was a crock of shit. My parents always justified raising me Catholic by saying, "Well, maybe someday you'll want to get married in the Catholic church." Ha. I told them even when my age wasn't yet in the double digits that that particular occurrence would never happen. For my first marriage, I was married in a church, but it was nondenominational and my then husband's family had close ties with the church. For my second marriage, we were married by a fifth-grade teacher who also has a license to marry people and we got married outside in someone's garden/yard (love ya J.B.)! So, no Catholic weddings for me. And no, we do not plan on baptizing our daughter or raising her with religion in her life. When she gets old enough and can make her own decision about religion and faith, she can explore those options if she would like.
I digress from my original intent here, though. After going through a painful divorce and the death of my very young father, I questioned faith and religion even more. I believe that I live my life as a good person. I help people out (jeez, I am a teacher and counselor after all), I fund raise for The American Cancer Society/Relay for Life, donate clothing, food, etc. to those in need. Of course these things are not all-encompassing and don't paint a total picture of me. Those are just some of the things I do that I would say make me a decent/good person. Now, when I read these blogs where babies aspirate, go brain-dead and die a couple of days shy of their 2 month "birthday", or when a baby is fine until 37 or 38 weeks and then when the mother goes in to deliver the baby he or she has no heartbeat, that just sickens me and makes me fearful. What kind of greater good/power/deity/god would allow these things to happen to innocent babies and children? I absolutely hate when people use the justifications that I listed above, such as, "Oh, they are in a better place," "God couldn't wait to have a new angel," etc. A lot of the time horrible things happen to good people that have lived their lives correctly and honestly. Can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me that there is a valid reason that my Dad died at age 48, and before he was diagnosed with the primary liver cancer that would eventually spread and end his life, was perfectly healthy? Is there a valid reason that baby Adam (who was born exactly a week before McKenna) got sick, aspirated one night, went brain dead, and died two days later? I challenge you to convince me that there is some higher power out there and that there are valid, meaningful reasons why things like this happen in life. I guarantee that you can't come up with something. Don't preach to me about god and faith and religion, because I don't believe. I think my Dad said it best: "In life you're dealt a hand of cards, and you have to play the hand you've got the best way you can." If there was a god/higher power, etc. would all these terrible things happen to good people? I know you believers will always try to find some way to back it up, e.g. "God is testing us" but I don't buy it.
The older I get, the more I seem to question everything. I wish I knew why bad things happen to good people. I wish that I could stop worrying that something will happen to Justin or McKenna. Call me negative and a non-believer, but you can never say that I'm not honest.
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Some Songs I'd be Happy to Never Hear Again...and Why
1. "The Humpty Dance" by Digital Underground
Way, way overplayed. Done and over this one.
2. "Pour Some Sugar on Me" by Def Leppard
Nasty strip club song; makes me think of nekkid women dancing on poles.
3. "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder
This one has a personal dislike attached to it...when my (now) ex-husband was cheating on me, we heard this song on the radio and he made a comment about how he really liked it. A month or so later, he was at our house and his phone started ringing and that was the ring tone that he had for Cupcake. Hmm...wonder why he liked that song so much. I literally had to turn that song off every time it came on the radio because it was painful for me to hear. Difficult in the fall/winter of 2006 when it was popular. I still don't really like to hear it because of all the negative things associated with it.
4. "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-A-Lot
See reason #1.
5. "I Am Mine" by Pearl Jam
"I'm so cool, I work out to this song. It pumps me up." No further comment.
6. "Lose Yourself" by Eminem
See reason #6.
7. "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls
This song was popular in the summer of 1998 when my 12 year old cousin got killed by an errant firework shell at a fireworks show. This song just reminds me of that time because it was on the radio CONSTANTLY that summer.
Those are the only ones that were in my head for now, but I am sure there are more. I can always go back and add to the list.
Way, way overplayed. Done and over this one.
2. "Pour Some Sugar on Me" by Def Leppard
Nasty strip club song; makes me think of nekkid women dancing on poles.
3. "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder
This one has a personal dislike attached to it...when my (now) ex-husband was cheating on me, we heard this song on the radio and he made a comment about how he really liked it. A month or so later, he was at our house and his phone started ringing and that was the ring tone that he had for Cupcake. Hmm...wonder why he liked that song so much. I literally had to turn that song off every time it came on the radio because it was painful for me to hear. Difficult in the fall/winter of 2006 when it was popular. I still don't really like to hear it because of all the negative things associated with it.
4. "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-A-Lot
See reason #1.
5. "I Am Mine" by Pearl Jam
"I'm so cool, I work out to this song. It pumps me up." No further comment.
6. "Lose Yourself" by Eminem
See reason #6.
7. "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls
This song was popular in the summer of 1998 when my 12 year old cousin got killed by an errant firework shell at a fireworks show. This song just reminds me of that time because it was on the radio CONSTANTLY that summer.
Those are the only ones that were in my head for now, but I am sure there are more. I can always go back and add to the list.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Stop With the Stick Figure Family Decals-They're Dangerous
Maybe I notice those little stick figure "family" decals more on the back of van/SUV windows now since I am a mother. I always thought that they were stupid before, but the more I thought about it, I think that they are just dangerous. Any random person who is behind you knows exactly how many immediate family members you have, how many children, whether those children are girls or boys, what types and how many pets you have, and in some cases, those stupid stick figure decals even have little tutus or cheerleader skirts, also telling any random creepers what your child's interest(s) is/are. I was behind one vehicle yesterday that had two little girl stick figure decals, one with a tutu and one with a cheerleader skirt and pompoms, and underneath the two figures it said "Jenna" and "Jaclyne". Not only did this trusting mother openly advertise that she has two daughters and their interests, she actually put their NAMES underneath them! Maybe I am paranoid, but I strongly believe that some random creeper/pedophile/stalker freak could easily follow this person to his/her house and they would already have some very basic (but very important) information about her children-the fact that they are girls, that they are interested in ballet and cheerleading, and their NAMES, for God's sake!
Let's use some basic common sense here, people, and not advertise to all the creepers out there about our families. Don't make it easy for your child to possibly become a victim of some horrible crime just because you wanted to "brag" about your family/kids through posting those stupid stick figure decals on your back window. I know that I will never spend my hard-earned money on them.
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
Let's use some basic common sense here, people, and not advertise to all the creepers out there about our families. Don't make it easy for your child to possibly become a victim of some horrible crime just because you wanted to "brag" about your family/kids through posting those stupid stick figure decals on your back window. I know that I will never spend my hard-earned money on them.
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
"Tree"son Part Deux (AKA I'm Tired of These Damn Trees)
I originally posted about my wonderful overgrown maple trees at the end of February. At that time, we had one company (the Cadillac of tree companies) that had come out to our house, taken a look, and quoted us a $3200 fee to remove said trees. Since then, we have had two (three?) other estimates, a second of $3200 and another of $1700. I received a call yesterday from another tree removal business that I had initially contacted around the end of February/beginning of March and the woman asked if we had received our estimate and if we were going to have our trees removed by their company or not. When I got home I asked my husband if he had ever seen an estimate from this particular company (neither of us had ever seen an estimate). I figure if they left it in our front door or maybe in our mailbox that it blew away. I did call that particular company back today and the same woman I had spoken with yesterday said that the arborist had come out on March 7 and had left an estimate. I told this woman that we had never received an estimate, and she told me that she could e-mail it to me before the end of today. We'll see if it gets here.
I also called two other places that were recommended to us by one of my husband's co-workers and the other by our babysitter-we'll see what type of estimates these people come up with.
I am about to make like a tree and "leaf" (ha ha). Right now keeping our money in our pocket and letting the damn trees stay up sounds wonderful to me.
I also called two other places that were recommended to us by one of my husband's co-workers and the other by our babysitter-we'll see what type of estimates these people come up with.
I am about to make like a tree and "leaf" (ha ha). Right now keeping our money in our pocket and letting the damn trees stay up sounds wonderful to me.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Be Careful What You Wish For...
'cause you just might get it. Whether you remember this saying from a Pussycat Dolls song a few years back or maybe your parents or grandparents used it, it is quite true. Just like any other school district in our lovely state, we are going through some financial troubles (levy failures). All of us have known for the past couple of years what was looming ahead if the levy kept failing, and now the official ax has fallen. Some people are losing their jobs regardless or not if the May levy passes, and there are many more who will lose their jobs if the May levy doesn't pass.
Which brings us to my situation. I have had a Master's degree in school counseling for almost 4 years now and have tried 3 times to obtain a school counselor position in my own district. The first time I didn't expect to get the position, but I did get the experience of interviewing. The other two times I was passed over for two people who were hired from out-of-district but we won't get into that right now. That would be possibly two other posts. So...when you are in a situation like our district is (a RIF, or Reduction In Force, for those of you not familiar with the educational terminology), if there are people who have certificates or licenses in disciplines that they are not currently working in or teaching in, you can move to other positions without the threat of other outside competition. This is the deal in my situation. I have been teaching French in the same school district since December of 2001, but as mentioned before, have been trying to get that elusive counselor position for almost 4 years. I found out this morning that I do have a counselor position...but it is not in the same building that I have taught at for all these years, nor is it for the same grade level. It is in the same district, so I will still be able to readily communicate with my "family" at the school where I currently work.
I am happy that I finally got a counselor position (although this is not the way I would have wanted to obtain said position-BTW the counselor at this other school is retiring at the end of this school year) but I am also sad to know that I will not be returning to my same building this coming August. It is also sad that there are some people who are totally out of a job for next school year and equally as sad that so many other jobs are dependent on the passage or failure of our next levy in May. I am looking forward to the new challenge, working with new students and colleagues, and learning how to do something different outside of the classroom. I also dread this change in a way because I will have to leave the colleagues that I have been working with for the past 10+ years (some of these people have become like family to me). I will miss the relationships that I have built with my students, having been pretty much the only/primary French teacher in the building. I also dread it because this means that I will actually have to clean out my classroom before the end of the school year. :)
So, be careful what you wish for because you just might get it. Hopefully I will be successful at this career change this coming August. Wish me luck! :)
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
Which brings us to my situation. I have had a Master's degree in school counseling for almost 4 years now and have tried 3 times to obtain a school counselor position in my own district. The first time I didn't expect to get the position, but I did get the experience of interviewing. The other two times I was passed over for two people who were hired from out-of-district but we won't get into that right now. That would be possibly two other posts. So...when you are in a situation like our district is (a RIF, or Reduction In Force, for those of you not familiar with the educational terminology), if there are people who have certificates or licenses in disciplines that they are not currently working in or teaching in, you can move to other positions without the threat of other outside competition. This is the deal in my situation. I have been teaching French in the same school district since December of 2001, but as mentioned before, have been trying to get that elusive counselor position for almost 4 years. I found out this morning that I do have a counselor position...but it is not in the same building that I have taught at for all these years, nor is it for the same grade level. It is in the same district, so I will still be able to readily communicate with my "family" at the school where I currently work.
I am happy that I finally got a counselor position (although this is not the way I would have wanted to obtain said position-BTW the counselor at this other school is retiring at the end of this school year) but I am also sad to know that I will not be returning to my same building this coming August. It is also sad that there are some people who are totally out of a job for next school year and equally as sad that so many other jobs are dependent on the passage or failure of our next levy in May. I am looking forward to the new challenge, working with new students and colleagues, and learning how to do something different outside of the classroom. I also dread this change in a way because I will have to leave the colleagues that I have been working with for the past 10+ years (some of these people have become like family to me). I will miss the relationships that I have built with my students, having been pretty much the only/primary French teacher in the building. I also dread it because this means that I will actually have to clean out my classroom before the end of the school year. :)
So, be careful what you wish for because you just might get it. Hopefully I will be successful at this career change this coming August. Wish me luck! :)
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Does Being a Secure Mom Make Me a Bad Mom?
My first day back to work was this past January 24 (after a 2 1/2 month maternity leave). I didn't see McKenna in the morning before I left, as she was still sleeping (Daddy has drop-off duty, I have pick-up duty), and in case you were wondering, no, I didn't cry at all while I was on my way to work, at work, or on the way to pick her up from the sitter. In case you were further wondering, I didn't call the sitter at lunch either just to check on how she was doing, nor have I done that up to the present day.
A few weekends ago we took a bus trip to Greektown Casino in Detroit. We left McKenna with Justin's aunt Brenda (McKenna's great aunt). While we were on said bus trip, we talked with some of the people, as the majority of them were somehow related to Justin or friends of Justin or his sister or friends of other relatives. We were asked by a couple of different people if we had called aunt Brenda to check on McKenna and "see how she was doing." No, we hadn't called at all. Justin and I figured if there had been a problem that aunt Brenda would have called us.
Does this make us horrible parents that don't care about our child? No, I don't think so. Maybe some would view us that way, but I prefer to think of us as parents who trust our child's sitter/relatives to take care of our child. Our sitter has 3 children of her own and watches other children during the week as well. Aunt Brenda raised 4 children of her own (3 boys, 2 of whom are twins, and a daughter). Also, my Mom has watched McKenna overnight already (and GASP! She was only 11 weeks old)! Another sin in the eyes of some I'm sure, but come on, my Mom also raised 2 daughters and we've grown up to be pretty respectable people. :) Well, maybe the jury is still out on that one.
So, as a final thought, I leave you with this...in the educational world, we have a term for parents who constantly have to be checking up on their child, and that would be "helicopter parent." Justin and I just choose to trust that we have left McKenna in good hands when we do leave her with her sitter and/or a relative and we choose not to be those "helicopter parents." If there are any issues, of course our sitter and/or relative(s) would get in touch with us. If you are a "helicopter parent" maybe you should get out there, enjoy yourself and your significant other/friends once in awhile, and trust that your child is doing just fine without you. Most of the time I am certain that this is the case.
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
A few weekends ago we took a bus trip to Greektown Casino in Detroit. We left McKenna with Justin's aunt Brenda (McKenna's great aunt). While we were on said bus trip, we talked with some of the people, as the majority of them were somehow related to Justin or friends of Justin or his sister or friends of other relatives. We were asked by a couple of different people if we had called aunt Brenda to check on McKenna and "see how she was doing." No, we hadn't called at all. Justin and I figured if there had been a problem that aunt Brenda would have called us.
Does this make us horrible parents that don't care about our child? No, I don't think so. Maybe some would view us that way, but I prefer to think of us as parents who trust our child's sitter/relatives to take care of our child. Our sitter has 3 children of her own and watches other children during the week as well. Aunt Brenda raised 4 children of her own (3 boys, 2 of whom are twins, and a daughter). Also, my Mom has watched McKenna overnight already (and GASP! She was only 11 weeks old)! Another sin in the eyes of some I'm sure, but come on, my Mom also raised 2 daughters and we've grown up to be pretty respectable people. :) Well, maybe the jury is still out on that one.
So, as a final thought, I leave you with this...in the educational world, we have a term for parents who constantly have to be checking up on their child, and that would be "helicopter parent." Justin and I just choose to trust that we have left McKenna in good hands when we do leave her with her sitter and/or a relative and we choose not to be those "helicopter parents." If there are any issues, of course our sitter and/or relative(s) would get in touch with us. If you are a "helicopter parent" maybe you should get out there, enjoy yourself and your significant other/friends once in awhile, and trust that your child is doing just fine without you. Most of the time I am certain that this is the case.
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
Friday, March 4, 2011
From the Great Beyond...
If you read this, and you know me in pretty much any way, shape, or form you know that I am definitely not a religious person. However, I do believe that people who have died may sometimes choose some way to let their loved ones know that they can still see them and be involved in their lives somehow.
After my Dad died in December of 2007 my Mom and I started seeing hawks all over the place. This was a bit strange, as I don't recall ever seeing them much before this time. They would fly over my car when I was driving down the highway, I would see them sitting on power lines above wide open fields, and once I even saw one right on the side of the road, pretty much close enough that if I had stopped my car and reached my hand out the window that I could touch it. It also seems that I tend to see more hawks when I am going through a stressful period in my life, for example when we were TTC. I saw a lot of them during those 10 months. I also saw lots of hawks when I was going through my divorce and the aftermath of that. I think the best story about a hawk/Dad watching over me was the day we were moving into our house at the end of February 2008. I wasn't there at the time, I was at my previous residence picking up some more items to bring to the new house, but some of the people who were at the new house moving things in there said that a hawk landed right in the small tree in the front yard of the house and just sat there for awhile. I thought that was really cool, and it made me feel good, like my Dad was checking in on us and making sure that everything was going OK with the move. My Mom has also seen many hawks since my Dad has died, so I know it's not just me. I'm not sure if it's related or not, but my Dad is in a mausoleum and one of the reasons that we chose the particular spot where he currently rests is because there was a stone figure of a hawk facing his spot. My Dad always liked birds like eagles and hawks; he even had a huge tattoo on his upper left arm of an eagle. Coincidence? I don't know. I just know that it makes me feel good to know that Dad is still looking out for me, even after all this time.
It's not just me either, I know that there are other people who associate other animals with their loved ones who have died. For Justin it is deer. For some friends that I knew back in high school, it is butterflies. It's a very interesting phenomenon to me. What do you think? Do you have any specific animals or other "signs" that you associate with a loved one who has died or who has played some other type of significant role in your life?
I am not religious, but I guess I may be a bit spiritual. : ) Even us hardasses have to have our soft spots.
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
After my Dad died in December of 2007 my Mom and I started seeing hawks all over the place. This was a bit strange, as I don't recall ever seeing them much before this time. They would fly over my car when I was driving down the highway, I would see them sitting on power lines above wide open fields, and once I even saw one right on the side of the road, pretty much close enough that if I had stopped my car and reached my hand out the window that I could touch it. It also seems that I tend to see more hawks when I am going through a stressful period in my life, for example when we were TTC. I saw a lot of them during those 10 months. I also saw lots of hawks when I was going through my divorce and the aftermath of that. I think the best story about a hawk/Dad watching over me was the day we were moving into our house at the end of February 2008. I wasn't there at the time, I was at my previous residence picking up some more items to bring to the new house, but some of the people who were at the new house moving things in there said that a hawk landed right in the small tree in the front yard of the house and just sat there for awhile. I thought that was really cool, and it made me feel good, like my Dad was checking in on us and making sure that everything was going OK with the move. My Mom has also seen many hawks since my Dad has died, so I know it's not just me. I'm not sure if it's related or not, but my Dad is in a mausoleum and one of the reasons that we chose the particular spot where he currently rests is because there was a stone figure of a hawk facing his spot. My Dad always liked birds like eagles and hawks; he even had a huge tattoo on his upper left arm of an eagle. Coincidence? I don't know. I just know that it makes me feel good to know that Dad is still looking out for me, even after all this time.
It's not just me either, I know that there are other people who associate other animals with their loved ones who have died. For Justin it is deer. For some friends that I knew back in high school, it is butterflies. It's a very interesting phenomenon to me. What do you think? Do you have any specific animals or other "signs" that you associate with a loved one who has died or who has played some other type of significant role in your life?
I am not religious, but I guess I may be a bit spiritual. : ) Even us hardasses have to have our soft spots.
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
A Major Fuckup
I started reading this book the other day. Wow. I would never think that a mix-up like this could ever happen. Even more frightening is that it happened in OHIO, not too far from where we live. I can't believe that trained professionals could ever be so incompetent. You should give it a read sometime...makes for a good, fast read.
To be fair to the other couple involved, I did see that they also have a book out on the same topic as well. I do not have this book but I may read it sometime to get the other side of the story.
Just blows my mind that this could happen.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Internet Dating: It's Not Just for Creepers Anymore
About 10 or 15 years ago, there used to be this huge stigma surrounding Internet dating/meeting people on the Internet. I have an aunt and uncle who used to meet "friends" via the Internet back in the day and everyone else in the family gossiped about it like it was some huge scandal and how creepy it was that they were meeting people online. It was even more creepy when they went out and met said Internet creepers in person.
Fortunately, we've come a long way, and Internet dating doesn't have that same "Oh no you don't unless you're creepy" feel to it at all. I have several friends, colleagues and family members that have met their current husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other online. There are various sites that you can use, the most well-known probably being match.com and eharmony.com. I think that several years ago people thought that meeting people on the Internet meant that you were planning on doing something indecent, like swinging or cheating. Now, meeting people on the Internet is a great alternative to picking up someone in a bar (which I think is ultimately way more creepy than meeting someone online). It is really easy to set up a profile on one of these online dating sites and for me, it was actually a lot of fun to see e-mails from my potential suitors coming in.
I'll backtrack a bit here so you know where I'm coming from. Flashback to spring 2007 (day before Easter) and the conversation between my first husband and I about how we had tried to make things work, our relationship had its run, now it was done, blah blah blah. I was a bit (OK, a LOT) bitter that the entire time, he had his Cupcake on the side. I was 29 years old, newly separated, and I wanted to jump right back into the dating game. However, as I had long since outgrown the bar scene (was never into it at all, really) I knew that was not an option for me. I went online and checked out match.com and signed up for a 3 month trial. It was a lot of fun setting up my profile, answering the questions they asked and then having my sister take a profile picture of me with her dog (I then had a disclaimer that I did have a dog, but the dog in the picture was NOT my dog-sorry Schpeen). There were all types of questions, ranging from the basic eye and hair color, to the truly superficial: "How much money should your potential date/mate earn?" There were also some off-the-wall questions such as, "Do you like or hate thunderstorms?"
The only thing more fun than creating a profile was seeing the responses to my profile. I originally communicated with 3 men, all around my age (late 20s/early 30s) and went out on a date with one of the three. Of the other two, one was only interested in hearing about how good of a kisser I was and the other one got shipped off to Dubai to work on a container/cargo ship. I did end up going out on two dates with the third one, but that would deserve a whole blog to itself (carpet cleaner/Neanderthal man).
Finally near the end of May, I met Justin, who was to become my husband in about a year. We communicated via e-mails on match at first, then by phone, then on dates. We moved in together in February 2008 and got married in 2009. If I am being 100% honest, I was a bit embarrassed at first to admit that we met each other on match.com when people asked. Now I tell people with pride that I met my husband online. I must have had some bad family vibes hanging around me at first when people asked me how we met. :)
So, for any of you singletons out there, women or men, who are still looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right, or maybe if you're newly separated or divorced and want to get back on the dating horse, try one of the online dating sites. Maybe you will meet your special someone and maybe you won't, but I guarantee you'll have fun with the online dating process. You may even end up with some very special dating stories to tell like yours truly. Try it-you may or may not be disappointed. Shrug off the stigma about online dating that you may have or that others may have and take a chance. It worked out in my favor and also for several other people that I know.
Good luck!
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
Fortunately, we've come a long way, and Internet dating doesn't have that same "Oh no you don't unless you're creepy" feel to it at all. I have several friends, colleagues and family members that have met their current husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other online. There are various sites that you can use, the most well-known probably being match.com and eharmony.com. I think that several years ago people thought that meeting people on the Internet meant that you were planning on doing something indecent, like swinging or cheating. Now, meeting people on the Internet is a great alternative to picking up someone in a bar (which I think is ultimately way more creepy than meeting someone online). It is really easy to set up a profile on one of these online dating sites and for me, it was actually a lot of fun to see e-mails from my potential suitors coming in.
I'll backtrack a bit here so you know where I'm coming from. Flashback to spring 2007 (day before Easter) and the conversation between my first husband and I about how we had tried to make things work, our relationship had its run, now it was done, blah blah blah. I was a bit (OK, a LOT) bitter that the entire time, he had his Cupcake on the side. I was 29 years old, newly separated, and I wanted to jump right back into the dating game. However, as I had long since outgrown the bar scene (was never into it at all, really) I knew that was not an option for me. I went online and checked out match.com and signed up for a 3 month trial. It was a lot of fun setting up my profile, answering the questions they asked and then having my sister take a profile picture of me with her dog (I then had a disclaimer that I did have a dog, but the dog in the picture was NOT my dog-sorry Schpeen). There were all types of questions, ranging from the basic eye and hair color, to the truly superficial: "How much money should your potential date/mate earn?" There were also some off-the-wall questions such as, "Do you like or hate thunderstorms?"
The only thing more fun than creating a profile was seeing the responses to my profile. I originally communicated with 3 men, all around my age (late 20s/early 30s) and went out on a date with one of the three. Of the other two, one was only interested in hearing about how good of a kisser I was and the other one got shipped off to Dubai to work on a container/cargo ship. I did end up going out on two dates with the third one, but that would deserve a whole blog to itself (carpet cleaner/Neanderthal man).
Finally near the end of May, I met Justin, who was to become my husband in about a year. We communicated via e-mails on match at first, then by phone, then on dates. We moved in together in February 2008 and got married in 2009. If I am being 100% honest, I was a bit embarrassed at first to admit that we met each other on match.com when people asked. Now I tell people with pride that I met my husband online. I must have had some bad family vibes hanging around me at first when people asked me how we met. :)
So, for any of you singletons out there, women or men, who are still looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right, or maybe if you're newly separated or divorced and want to get back on the dating horse, try one of the online dating sites. Maybe you will meet your special someone and maybe you won't, but I guarantee you'll have fun with the online dating process. You may even end up with some very special dating stories to tell like yours truly. Try it-you may or may not be disappointed. Shrug off the stigma about online dating that you may have or that others may have and take a chance. It worked out in my favor and also for several other people that I know.
Good luck!
Until next time, I remain,
Jenuinely Yours
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